Overcoming obstacles in life doesn’t have to be too hard
How will you deal with life’s obstacles or negative feelings? That’s an interesting topic to discuss.
People who study responsibility frequently discover that the happiest life is not a perfect life. Their success and overall happiness are due to their attitude toward life and their ability to overcome obstacles.
This explains why some people can be happy even while suffering from a life-threatening illness, while others, rich or poor, can’t see the good in anything. It’s not about what happens to us, but how we respond to it.
Everyone, to some extent, has to deal with difficult situations in their daily lives. When you feel like you’re sinking, it’s important to learn how to deal with obstacles in life.
These abilities can be developed. People who understand their role in creating happiness and find confident solutions to problems find it easier to cope with difficulties, even when they don’t know what to do.
Let’s now discuss some actionable steps about how to overcome big obstacles to success.
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Here are some tips about facing obstacles and how you can make this process easier
1. Try to get rid of excessive thinking
Excessive thinking is another internal impediment to happiness that manifests itself primarily in five ways:
• Comparing yourself and your life to another’s, which results in false desires (expectations);
• Imagining (fantasizing) and the resulting belief in things that aren’t true or probable;
• Rejection of memories and guilt arising from them;
• Describing and commenting on the surroundings, which simply tires you out;
• Repetitive thinking results in unconscious beliefs that color your world (but may have nothing to do with reality).
It’s possible to become aware of how constant mental activity simply exhausts us. It’s so automatic, yet so powerful, that it tricks us into believing everything we’re thinking.
At the same time, not everything that the mind feeds us is true. It only takes two questions to demonstrate this:
1. Do you recall what you were thinking about at 5:32 p.m. on May 24, 2020? Unless you got engaged on that day, you most likely have a blank spot in your memory at this point.
Or exactly one year ago, at 1.54 p.m., you most likely had thoughts in your head that required your undivided attention because you felt your life would collapse if you didn’t. Did it collapse?
2. Will your life implode if you don’t think about this one topic that’s been bothering you for the next 45 minutes? And then the next 45 minutes, and then the next 45 minutes, and so on.
Nothing is likely to happen because ceasing to worry doesn’t imply ceasing to act and perform. You can complete many everyday tasks without constant worry.
2. Pay close attention to your inner monologue
You googled “how will you deal with life’s obstacles or negative feelings” and stumbled across this post. If I could teach you only one valuable piece of information, it would be this one.
Consider what you tell yourself and others about yourself. It reflects the caliber of your ideas.
The important thing is to discover your intuition and learn how to communicate with your inner guide, also known as the voice of your soul. Your body doesn’t lie, so listen to it and follow its cues.
3. Change your perspective on emotions
This is the soul’s way of informing you of what’s going on in your life right now. You decide whether you see what is going on as a conflict or a problem or as a meaningful and purposeful life experience.
The first step is to find effective ways to express yourself that aren’t harmful to you or others. If you feel the need to cry, do so as soon as possible. There are hard times in life when you need to cry; it helps you cope with life’s difficulties. If you must cry, cry.
Also, it’s a good idea to treat yourself the same healthy way you would treat others. What advice would you give to your daughter or son if they were in the same situation?
4. There are three types of behavior in a state of stress that, in such situations, help to concentrate energy for coping and better adaptation:
• denying what occurred and avoiding thoughts and feelings that cause severe emotional distress
• adapting and changing your perspective on what’s going on
• seeking a solution and making efforts to change the situation
Should you try to avoid what’s happening, adapt to the situation, or solve the problem?
Denial of the situation is an unconscious defense reaction that can occur when confronted with unexpected, highly stressful events.
For a time, the incident or some aspect of it appears to be forgotten. Such a reaction is critical to allowing your mind to accept what has occurred.
If you feel tolerable and can gradually accept what happened, this time can be viewed as a time of gathering inner strength to overcome any huge obstacle, because the future is dependent on your ability to change yourself and your environment.
Changing your attitude toward a situation is what adaptation entails, and it includes the following techniques:
• Comparing yourself to others to make the situation appear better to you (for example, “my situation is far from the worst”) doesn’t solve the problem, but it does help you accept it temporarily until you find the strength to make the necessary changes.
• Talking about your feelings with someone will help you clarify what happened to you and make you more tolerant. Pity and excessive self-criticism have a negative impact as they aggravate the pain.
If you think like this, try to reformulate your negative thinking so that there’s an opportunity to change your attitude and reduce the pain: in the shadow of pity is the realization that the bad is temporary and passing, and behind the criticism is the desire to do things differently next time.
• Recognizing and articulating life’s lessons can help you be more tolerant of what happened. A person who has lived a rich life finds something to record as personal life wisdom in misfortune and mishap.
It’s also comforting to know that whatever bad things happened, they probably happened for a good reason.
• By treating the incident or some of the episodes with humor and positive thinking, you can avoid “overheating” caused by tension.
Changing the circumstances
Studying and professional work, family life and raising children, health care, and improving your financial situation—coping in these areas requires overcoming hurdles.
The ability to perceive difficulties and worries as problems worth solving is one of the cornerstones of life wisdom.
Only by preferring a specific definition of the situation to a general description of the problem and finding answers to the following questions can you investigate and change a stressful situation.
How and when does the problem occur? How do you usually behave? What are you afraid of losing? How would you like to change your behavior?
For example, “I’m stressed because my friends don’t want to listen to me” is an overly general description of the problem.
A specific description of the same problem: “When we go for drinks after work, my friend Lisa talks non-stop about her marriage problems (how and when does the problem occur?). I sit and listen, trying to appear interested (how do you usually behave?).
If I interrupted her, she’d think I didn’t care about her (what are you afraid of losing?). I occasionally want to change the subject and discuss my personal matters (how would you like to change your behavior?).”
How will you deal with life’s obstacles or negative feelings? You use your emotional intelligence to delve deeper into the issue. If you want to delve deeper into the issue, the following scheme can help you find a solution:
• Describe an event in such a way that facts, thoughts, and feelings are separated from one another: what happened (when? with whom? how?) and try to stay within the boundaries of the facts, refraining from adding your feelings and interpretations.
• What were you thinking (about yourself?) at the time? What about other people? Concerning the surroundings? Now is the time to formulate and systematize your thoughts in response to the event. How did you feel (at the time? after? after a while?)?
• How would you like to feel (and how would you recognize that your feelings have changed)?
Solving the problem, i.e., changing the situation to meet your needs:
• What are your goals? Consider what you want to achieve, how the expected change might manifest itself, which of your own needs you can better satisfy by solving the problem, and which solutions you could consider. Find as many as possible.
• Evaluate the solutions and select the best one; make a decision after weighing the benefits and drawbacks of each possible solution.
• Make a plan of action. Plan activities for solving problems and removing life obstacles, and make time for interim debriefings.
• Act to change: if you believe you can’t cope alone, seek advice and help, obtain additional information and skills, and reward yourself when you have successfully solved a problem or a portion of a problem.
For instance, “I want Lisa to listen to my problems, ask questions, and offer advice. It would help me determine how to proceed. When I see her again tomorrow, I’ll let her talk for a while before saying, “Could you please listen to me? I really want to hear your thoughts,” or “You know, I’m getting tired of listening. Would you mind if I talked a bit more today?” If Lisa is offended, I will make the same request the next day and add that I need her help and advice on one specific issue.”
5. Establish specific goals
What you want to achieve must be realized in your vision. A person with utopian and hazy goals wanders aimlessly through life, much like a soccer player who rushes after the ball but has no goals on the field of play. I’ll give you an example.
General new goal: I want my friend’s attitude to improve.
Exact goal: At the next meeting, I will request that my friend listen to me for at least three minutes without interrupting.
6. Maintain a positive attitude
It’s clear that a healthy dose of optimism is required to be happy. The important part to remember is that resilient people don’t let negativity bring them down and remain positive even in stressful situations.
This doesn’t imply that they’re unable to accept the situation or that they’re self-centered; they, too, experience pain, suffering, and low self-esteem. They allow themselves to feel positive emotions such as gratitude, love, and joy in addition to negative ones.
7. Display the outcome to yourself and others
To learn to overcome any obstacle, try to analyze what you have done in terms of a measurable and visible result so that you can measure how far you have progressed toward your primary goal.
So, when you think, “I am more confident in myself,” the visible result could be that you’ve used 50% fewer expressions this week that start with the words “I’m really not sure if I’m right, but…” as you did last week.
8. My favorite thought is that this, too, shall pass
Those four words don’t always appear to be making a difference, but they clearly do in their own way. It reminds us that the future will be brighter. And the fact that difficult situations never last, but patient people always do.
9. Know that unhappiness appears to be a measure of how much we want our dreams
The universe sends disappointing and unpleasant life experiences to measure our commitment to the most beautiful goals and the most euphoric ideals for hopeful, exceptional, and opportunistic people like you and me.
So, I ask myself every single day: “How will you deal with life’s obstacles or negative feelings?” The answer is the following.
When fate throws a curveball my way, I’m now much better able to remember that a problem only becomes a problem if I see it as such. So I take a deep breath, roll up my sleeves, and demonstrate my seriousness toward the situation.
10. Another good belief is that every seemingly dire situation always turns out well
This principle was written down by philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer when he proposed that life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.
Only by looking back on our lives can we connect the dots and understand how everything happened for our greatest happiness. For our best possible personal growth.
What we thought was a burden in the midst of adversity becomes a blessing as time passes. It significantly improves our lives. Please keep that thought in mind.
11. Know that it’s not a problem if it helps you grow; it’s a reward
One of the primary goals of being in the school of life is to use every situation to transform weakness into wisdom, fear into faith, and the pain you carry with you into invincible strength.
Sure, you can’t avoid obstacles all the time, but everything that the ego labels as an “obstacle” or a “problem” is in your life for definite positive and extremely beneficial reasons.
You simply can’t see positive results yet. Because you aren’t required to see them yet. You must fully experience what you’re going through. Then unending blessings will pour into your days. “What does not kill us makes us stronger,” Nietzsche wrote. He was correct.
12. Opportunities abound in chaos
When things get tough, I recommend that you become an opportunity seeker by default.
The first thing to do is to ask yourself how you can use a setback to reveal the pinnacle of your abilities and turn adversity into victory, and how you can turn apparent failure into an even better life than you’ve had so far. This is how warriors and heavyweights behave.
13. Ask for help
Resilient people recognize that they aren’t alone. If necessary, they seek professional help from the appropriate people. In the event of certain problems, they rely on experts and visit specialists. Family and friends can provide comfort as well.
14. Learn from your mistakes
Resilient people view failure as a valuable learning experience. They don’t wallow in despair or have an overly strong emotional reaction.
Obstacles in life are a normal part of life that must be dealt with as they arise. Despite their mistakes, they keep going and dare to take risks in order to achieve something extraordinary.
15. Difficult times breed heroes
Heroes are created by turbulent times, not by stable periods. Mandela became Mandela while imprisoned on Robben Island. When she stood up to mistreatment, Rosa Parks became a legend.
What tries to break you also provides you with life-changing opportunities and good things to help you discover your hidden strengths and develop skills that will serve you for the rest of your life.
16. How to deal with obstacles in life by dealing with your negative emotions more effectively?
Self-care is an extremely important and necessary skill in these stressful times. Addressing your feelings is part of self-care. All kinds of feelings arise in the current situation, and if we don’t deal with them or turn to them, we may begin to behave in ways that harm us.
How will you deal with life’s obstacles or negative feelings?
Some of us start eating more, drinking more, shopping online, or taking medications to numb painful feelings.
There is, however, a better way to deal with your feelings, and that better way involves confronting your feelings, accepting them, and harnessing them for your own benefit.
However, if we continue to numb our feelings without harnessing their potential and learning from them, it has a negative effect on us. We will neglect our own mental and physical health and succumb to self-destructive tendencies.
In reality, every emotion is significant because it tells us whether we’re satisfied or dissatisfied. Dissatisfaction tells us that something in our lives isn’t quite right or that we’ve been thinking negative things about ourselves or a situation.
17. Listen to your feelings and be conscious of what you need
Ask your inner child, “What are you feeling right now?” Describe the feeling. “I’m angry,” for example.
Tell yourself, “I see that you’re angry.” Then ask yourself, “What do you need?” Specify what you need. “I need my friend to be honest with me,” for example.
Tell yourself, “I understand that you need your friend to be honest with you.” Take care of yourself and tell your friend what you need to feel good about the friendship or to keep it going.
In this case, the emotion arose as a result of a real situation and necessitated action on our part, namely, establishing our own boundary in the relationship. Usually, if we become aware of the reason for the feeling, we can act on it and change our state.
Feelings typically manifest as a result of either immediate situations or our own thoughts.
A feeling can also arise as a result of our own thoughts, in which case we must determine which thought is causing the manifestation of the feeling and which other thought would be more self-supporting and produce a better feeling.
18. Discover the thoughts behind the emotion
For example, if you’re anxious and afraid, investigate your thoughts. Anxiety and fear typically arise as a result of real danger or, if no real danger exists, as a result of our own negative thoughts.
We either imagine a negative future, have negative thoughts about ourselves, or internalize a negative belief.
If we can become aware of what causes us to be afraid, we can change our thoughts, images, and inputs, assuring ourselves of a more positive future. If you recognize that you are experiencing fear or anxiety, ask yourself, “Is my life really in danger now?”
If you answered “no,” then ask yourself, “What am I thinking, imagining, or internalizing that causes me fear and anxiety?”
“I believe I will be unable to cope and will lose my job,” for example. Then ask yourself, “Is it true that I won’t be able to make it and will lose my job?”
The truth is that you don’t really know, and your negative assumption is all you have. Then ask yourself, “What other thought, other than this negative thought, could I have that would support me and instill confidence and peace?”
“I’m considering starting a side hustle if necessary to better deal with the financial situation. I can envision a bright future in which I am self-assured, efficient, and intelligent, living peacefully without having to worry about money.”
It’s critical to identify a negative thought, image, or assumption and replace it with a more self-supporting and confidence-inspiring thought, image, or assumption. A positive outlook is the key to living a happy life.
19. Self-care at the thought and feeling level
Turn to your feelings and allow yourself to feel them all the way through, including so-called negative or difficult feelings like fear, anger, anxiety, sadness, regret, and grief.
All feelings—both those that bring us joy and those that cause us pain and difficulty—are part of the human experience. There’s a strong link between all of these feelings.
While facing obstacles, no painful emotion should be denied or ignored. Instead, focus on your emotions and try to put them into words. You can do some expressive writing if that helps you. You don’t need much time for that; even a few minutes will suffice.
The intensity of the feeling will fade once you have named it and allowed yourself to feel it without resistance, and you will be able to begin to see the thoughts behind the feeling or accept a healthy response to what’s happening.
It’s natural to feel angry and resentful when someone has cruelly crossed our personal boundaries. Ignorance and uncertainty breed fear and anxiety, which is perfectly normal.
It’s healthier to feel all of your difficult emotions rather than try to avoid some of the more difficult ones you haven’t yet learned to face.
Being constantly positive and in a good mood is exhausting and requires a lot of energy if negative feelings are not accepted.
As human beings, we have come to experience various emotions, and each emotion serves a specific purpose in our lives: fear warns us of impending dangers, anger expresses that something is inappropriate for us, sadness indicates that we have lost something important, and so on.
20. Keep pushing
According to research, successful people are those who have learned how to solve problems effectively.
To cope well with feelings of stress, traumatic events, and past experiences, you must have self-belief—the belief that everything is under your control and that you will find a solution to the problem.
Part of this skill involves perseverance. People who believe in themselves don’t give up easily and continue to try new solutions until they find one. It becomes a reality because you believe you can do it.
21. Self-care on the physical level
We can’t overcome our physicality because our physical body and the processes that occur there influence our thoughts, actions, and behaviors, as well as how we cope with chronic stress and tension.
During tough times, it’s especially beneficial to increase self-care, i.e., eat a healthy diet, move daily in the fresh air, and increase the amount of hormones in your body that help you feel better and increase your ability to cope with high stress levels and think more positively.
Oxytocin, also known as the hormone of love, hugs, and bonding, is one such hormone. The body produces this hormone primarily after caressing, feeling, and expressing love and hugging.
The lower your oxytocin level, the easier it is to become irritable, angry, or moody, and the more difficult it is to think positively.
Let’s have a look at how anyone can use simple tricks to boost oxytocin production in the current situation:
• Give yourself a manicure, pedicure, massage, or other forms of body care. Even massaging your head causes the body to produce oxytocin.
• Stroking a pet, a child, or even a loved one is another effective way to stimulate the production of oxytocin in the body.
• Watch an emotionally charged film.
• Sing loudly for at least 10 minutes.
• Do some deep breathing exercises.
• Dance to your favorite music.
• Plan a walk with a friend.
• Say “I love you”… to a friend, a child, a pet, or your parents.
• Communicate with people you like and have a strong emotional connection with, either through social media or in person.
• Discuss your concerns with a friend or a therapist; a shared concern is half a concern.
• Move your body by going for a walk, dancing, or engaging in some other form of physical activity.
How do you overcome obstacles with the help of that tip? Take up and engage in the activities presented here consciously—that is, enjoy each activity while remaining fully present with it.
To achieve maximum results and quickly and effectively increase your oxytocin levels, be attentive and use all of your senses (smell, touch, sight, and hearing).
The higher your oxytocin level, the better you cope with stressful situations and the more clearly and positively you can think, act, and feel. So, the best way to deal with difficult situations and stressful life circumstances is to increase self-care and contact with yourself.
How will you deal with life’s obstacles or negative feelings?
Problems and difficulties are a natural part of life. Many studies show that people who see problems and difficulties as opportunities to change, experience the unknown, and learn something new get sick less frequently, are happier in their lives, and achieve more.
The person who is happy is not the one who has no problems, but the one who knows how to deal with these problems. Nobody is immune to mishaps, temporary setbacks, or unexpected difficulties in life.
How do you deal with problems? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
I’m a personal growth and self-care expert, as well as an avid motorcycle enthusiast and coffee and sweets lover. Through Lauraconteuse, I provide insightful and practical advice on topics such as self-care, self-love, personal growth, and productivity, drawing from my very own extensive experience and knowledge in the field. My blog has helped countless people achieve their goals and live more fulfilling lives, and my goal is to continue to inspire and empower others.