22 ways to get rid of jealousy (they actually work)
If you want to learn more about overcoming relationship jealousy, keep reading!
Jealousy is frequently falsely associated with tremendous love. One of the primary issues in a relationship is jealousy, which is why you shouldn’t be afraid to seek help from a counselor.
Jealousy is neither romantic nor indicative of love. What is the purpose behind this, though? Several feelings and characteristics have been connected to jealousy in studies. Signs of jealousy in a relationship are the following:
• Low self-confidence.
• Neuroticism (characterized by a tendency to worry and emotional instability).
• Insecurity and a sense of ownership.
• Dependency on a partner.
• Feeling unworthy of your mate. It’s called the inferiority complex—the feeling that you are unworthy of your partner.
• Nervous attitudes regarding partnerships in general: the persistent concern that your spouse will abandon you or that you will be insufficient.
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Before learning how to stop being jealous in a relationship, let’s talk about jealousy a bit
What can you do if your lover is jealous of you?
To begin with, keep in mind that the issue is with them, not with you. Confirm your affection for them when they express their jealousy. According to studies, the relationship is more solid when the partner of a jealous person exhibits interest and affection.
What should you do if you’re jealous of someone else?
Avoid situations where you could be accused of something you aren’t doing. According to studies, jealous people are more likely to monitor their partner’s Facebook activity than others.
The more they sniff, the more “evidence” they find to be concerned about. This, in turn, leads to a more intense spy, and you’re trapped in a vicious cycle.
Jealousy isn’t the solution to relationship difficulties, and keeping it hidden can make a relationship toxic or short-lived. If you notice such a sensation in yourself, address it immediately so that it does not have a negative impact on your relationship.
Even minor jealousy can be harmful to a relationship, especially if the partners have different understandings and temperaments.
Introverts and extroverts, for example, are likely to disagree on what is appropriate behavior when dealing with the opposite sex. What appears to be a friendly gesture to one person may appear to another as flirting.
When envy becomes an obsession
You just finished a long phone call with a loved one, and it doesn’t even take ten minutes before they send you an SMS and investigate your actions and movement.
They are meticulous and want to know everything in great detail. But who wants to be so adored that there is no room for breathing?
When pleasantly moderate jealousy becomes a total control that makes you feel trapped, it is no longer love; it is sick jealousy. Something should be done right away.
Jealousy is sometimes justified. It is understandable if people have previously deceived you or betrayed your trust in some other way. Let’s take a look at these examples.
Maybe it helps you deal with jealousy better, or at the very least reminds you that it’s a normal part of life, and if you feel it occasionally, you’re not necessarily a stupid person out to cause problems right away.
RELATED: Other things besides jealousy that you will regret later in life
In what situations is jealousy normal? How should it be handled?
Someone is flirting with your partner, or they are flirting with someone else
Flirting may not involve sexual signs and body language, but a bystander can usually tell when someone is showing a particular interest in someone. What should you do in such a situation?
Don’t look at it and gather negative emotions that will later poison the relationship. Say it clearly and directly: “I was envious for x and y reasons.”
In any case, it’s natural to feel jealous in the situations described, and if the relationship is otherwise healthy, discussing it later will not cause unnecessary tension.
Jealousy reminds you of your partner’s strengths
In a long-term relationship, you may fall into a routine and forget what drew you to your partner and what their appealing qualities or sides are.
As a result, a situation that makes you jealous can be beneficial because it creates a new attraction for you and reminds you that they can be attractive to others as well.
However, the element of competition temporarily increases the partner’s value in your eyes, which is a good thing. When something happens that teaches us to appreciate each other (again), it can only be a good thing.
Take it as a sign from the outside world that you’ve taken your partner for granted.
Someone is left behind
It’s not uncommon for a person to become so engaged in their work, studies, hobbies, or other pursuits that they lose sight of their partner or relationship. It’s sometimes unavoidable.
We frequently assume that others see things the same way we do, without having to explain ourselves. However, because there are probably very few mindreaders among us, talking to your partner can save both of you a lot of stress.
The most neutral way to approach a problem is to express your joy that the other person has a lot of important things to do, but also express your sadness that you can’t be a part of it. If they care, they’ll probably start thinking about ways to include you more in their lives soon.
The partner pays too much attention to others
It’s very common and humane to temporarily think of or dream of a stranger, so there is no point in fighting it directly. On the other hand, the feeling of discomfort and danger is caused when the partner constantly highlights and/or pays a lot of attention to others.
For example, you may discover that your partner still has a warm and close relationship with an ex-lover or a friend. Or they appear to be in “hunting mode” all the time, even when you are present.
It’s natural and easy to become envious in this situation. And it’s simple to solve problems wisely: talk to the partner who is causing you stress.
You can tell right away if you matter to them as much as you should by their reactions and body language, or if you have become an annoying distraction for them, preventing them from living the way they want to.
Of course, there may be unpleasant revelations here, but it’s better to know the truth than to struggle with not knowing. Isn’t it better to have a horrible ending than an endless horror?
Now let’s talk about how to beat jealousy
1. Grow your ego
Because jealousy is an emotion, it can only be overcome by working on your character. Make time for friends, family, and hobbies. Take care of yourself by doing things you enjoy.
Remind yourself that you’re beautiful and that there’s no reason to be concerned. Make an effort to improve your appearance to boost your self-esteem. Remember that they chose you over everyone else.
2. Keep an eye on your emotions
Try to notice when jealousy strikes. If you are jealous, take a step back and analyze your feelings. Think about why you feel threatened.
Determine whether the threat is real or merely a figment of your imagination. You may discover that you were afraid in vain, and that next time it’ll be easier to control your emotions.
3. Look in the mirror
Your own problems, not your partner’s behavior, may be the source of your jealousy. Understanding this is the key to overcoming relationship jealousy.
Try to figure out what worries are lurking behind the jealousy that has taken you over. Failures from a previous relationship, stress, or simply low self-esteem can all contribute to jealousy. Determine the source of your dissatisfaction and try to restore your balance.
4. Notice your insecurity
The first step toward reducing jealousy is to examine yourself. What hesitations make you jealous? Is it that you compare yourself to others or that you strive for perfection?
This list is not intended to make you feel embarrassed, but rather to help you get to know yourself and find your role in your relationship.
5. Respect your partner’s boundaries
At the start of a relationship, lovers spend as much time as possible in each other’s company. However, in the future, you must give each other some freedom. Allow them to breathe and trust them.
6. Work on your insecurities
Jealousy is said to be the result of insecurity. Think about why you feel threatened. What makes the partner insecure if they are jealous?
Do you believe you are unworthy and don’t deserve that person? Do you think you’re ugly? Do you compare yourself to other people? Find out your insecurities and work on them.
7. Discuss your emotions
How do you get rid of jealousy in a relationship? You TALK. It’s much healthier to talk about jealousy than to keep it to yourself. Make sure you talk to each other if you or your partner are on the jealous side of a relationship.
Why are you so envious? Why are they envious? Perhaps these feelings are the result of something you aren’t aware of. If so, talk about it and come up with a solution. Discuss these topics after you or your jealous partner have counted to ten to relax.
8. Trust them
Allow your significant other to go out with friends if they want to. Instead of imagining how they look at others and talk to their friends, why not go shopping or to the spa with your girlfriends? Recognize that this will only help your relationship.
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9. Count from one to ten
Take a deep breath in and out and count to ten if you know you are a jealous person and you are in a situation where you may lose control.
It’s a simple method of meditating, and meditation is known to help you calm down and allow you to enter a state of peaceful euphoria.
10. Be honest about your jealousy
There is no way to solve a problem if you don’t admit it to yourself. Rather than pretending not to be jealous, be truthful with yourself and your partner. Consider how it affects your well-being and your relationship.
Tony Robbins, a life coach, acknowledges on his website that being aware of this problem can be difficult, but it is an important step toward a healthy relationship.
11. Don’t trust your fixed ideas
They significantly distort reality. If you can’t stop thinking that your partner is flirting with other people, you need to question your assumptions.
The longer you keep the oppressive idea in your head, the more you believe it, and the more likely it is that you’re not that mistaken after all.
12. Ask for advice from your friends
Constant suspicion of a loved one can lead to an interminable vicious circle. You start to analyze your partner’s actions and words so thoroughly that you quickly lose the ability to think logically.
If you want to learn how to fight jealousy, ask your friends to share their opinions. Sometimes talking helps you realize you’re making mountains out of molehills.
13. Determine whether you’re capable of dealing with jealousy
Jealousy can shift quickly into being controlling. In this case, try to comprehend how it affects your partner. You will lose their trust, as well as the freedom to be yourself.
Control and jealousy can both lead to violence. Seek help if you are in a relationship where you feel physically threatened.
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14. Prioritize compassion
When you’re bent on complex jealousy, there’s no certainty of trust. Concentrate on getting to know yourself and your partner. Trying to understand is an important inner value that provides motivation for healing, gratitude, self-attachment, or protection.
Trust will be restored after a long period of compassion. However, if you try to trust without constant understanding, it will fade quickly.
15. Consider looking at the situation from a different perspective
As jealous people, we have a tendency to jump to conclusions and see things that do not exist. How many times have you called your significant other, and it went straight to voicemail, and you went insane?
So, what thoughts are running through your mind? The worst-case scenario will undoubtedly enter your mind. They are with someone else! They, like all the other people, are a cheater!
You know very well that this is not always the case. Instead of going to extremes, consider this: their phone’s battery is completely dead. They don’t have a charger. Isn’t that much better?
16. Determine the source of your jealousy
Determining the source of your jealousy plays a huge part in overcoming relationship jealousy. Instead of hiding ourselves out of jealousy of others, we need to get to the root of the problem and solve it.
Jealousy can arise from a variety of sources, including low self-esteem. We must deal with it. Perhaps you’re envious because your partner is more successful than you.
In this case, you must determine the reason for your rivalry. If your partner has broken trust, it’s best to focus on whether or not there is trust in you and if it can be restored instead of jealousy.
17. Work on your heartache
The main component of complex jealousy is a loss of self-esteem; you believe you’re unloved and you’re not a worthy partner.
“How can I believe someone who claims to love me if I don’t feel lovable in my heart? I’m guessing they don’t really know me or are after something else (my money, a house, a car) or someone else. Because I’m not enough for them, I keep an eye out for signs that they are looking for love elsewhere.”
Many studies show that your brain finds whatever it is looking for. When you’re gripped by a painful sense of worthlessness, before it turns into obsession and incites vengeance, ask yourself: “What can I do to feel loved and valued?”
To feel valuable, try your hardest to see the world through their eyes and feel what’s going on in their lives. Try to remember that your partner probably isn’t also feeling loved or enough, so try to think about what you can do to make both of you feel valuable.
18. Don’t break up your relationship because of their co-workers
Female coworkers can cause excessive jealousy. Stop torturing yourself by thinking about their coworkers, even if you think they are far more attractive than you.
Instead of being bothered by the fact that your partner is working too late again, do something useful to make time fly by.
19. Listen to them
If you notice that your significant other is much freer and more open when talking to friends than you, instead of spying on them and blaming them, pay more attention to them.
That’s how they will be more open in the future. The more you get to know them, the better you know them, and your relationship is built on mutual trust, where jealousy has no place.
RELATED: Learn to improve your conversation skills and be a better listener
20. Trust your partner
There is nothing wrong with wanting to moderately control a relationship because people need to feel in control of their lives.
It’s also not a bad thing if both partners want to control the relationship, but in this case, it’s critical to understand where the line between control, trust, and freedom is drawn.
When you try to control things over which you have no control, the relationship suffers greatly, and your partner may think you don’t trust them.
So, one of the best ways to get rid of jealousy is to simply learn to trust your partner and not be too controlling.
21. Take good care of yourself
Take care of yourself on a daily basis rather than just on special occasions. When you feel beautiful and desirable, your self-esteem rises. You don’t have to be envious of all the other beautiful women around you because you’re gorgeous just the way you are.
RELATED: Go on a self-love journey to take better care of yourself
22. Act only if there is a genuine reason to do so
If your loved one is not being truthful and is lying to you, you must consider your next steps.
Oprah has suggested that if your partner cheats on you, instead of focusing all of your energy on jealousy, you should focus on resolving the problem, whether by breaking up or forgiving.
However, accusing a partner of cheating is risky if there is no bulletproof evidence to support it. This is paranoid behavior that can be fatal to a relationship.
Overcoming relationship jealousy needs some effort but you can do it
That’s it for today’s post. How do you overcome relationship jealousy? Do you have any great tips I didn’t talk about here? Tell me in the comments below. I’d love to hear your thoughts!