23 Tips to Boost Your Self-Confidence (That Really Work)

Last Updated on November 15, 2022

The best tips that help you build your self-confidence

If you want to know how to boost your self-confidence, keep reading!

Why increase self-esteem? There are many benefits to having high self-esteem. Self-esteem is strongly associated with happiness, psychological optimism, and motivation to live a productive and fulfilling life.

People with low self-esteem are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, anger, chronic pain, a weakened immune system, and a lot of other physical and psychological symptoms that cause suffering.

If you want to build your self-confidence, always bring out the best in yourself. Believe in yourself. Believe that you are capable of everything you dream of. Believing in yourself will also help you achieve your goals.

Keep in mind that if you want to get different results, you need to do something different. The more you throw yourself into situations that scare you, the more likely you are to start enjoying these situations.

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RELATED: Here are 100 things you should love about yourself because you’re awesome

Fix your self-image

Your self-image is a control mechanism that affects the results you achieve. If you are not satisfied with your results, take a look at your self-image.

Where does it come from? Why do you doubt yourself? Do you set your own limits and boundaries? You can consciously change your self-image and thought patterns using visualization, powerful affirmations, and writing down your goals (in as much detail as possible).

The most important thing is that you remain yourself. If you have little money, few friends, or whatever, dare to admit it, because no good friend will ever despise you for it. But keep in mind that you don’t have to exaggerate your mistakes either.

Get to know yourself

If you are looking for ways to boost your self-confidence, my advice for you is to get to know yourself.

Even if you think you know yourself well enough, psychological research shows that this is not really the case. Most of us are frustrated with ourselves and our abilities. You will focus on and amplify one failure, but you won’t notice dozens of successes.

Focus on your strengths and on activities that you’re good at. Always find something positive about failure (there is always something to learn from). The more you get to know yourself, the greater your confidence and the better your results.

Find out what you’re good at. Confidence appears in situations where you can show what you’re good at and what is important to you. Maybe you’re a good runner? Don’t be afraid to compete. Do you like to cook? Then arrange dinners at your place.

Find out your strengths

Too often, we tend to stick to the belief that we should be perfect and, therefore, need to work on our weaknesses. However, this inevitably leads you to neglect your strengths. You can’t forget that the strengths you’re aware of bring you confidence and satisfaction.

Think of five to ten friends and acquaintances and send them a letter. Ask them to write down three things they like about you. It is important to write down the things that come to mind first and send the answers back immediately. This way, you get feedback on how others see you. Isn’t that a good way to boost your confidence?

Take your time and find out your strengths. When you start analyzing yourself, think about what really makes you happy and what doesn’t.

RELATED: 50 easy habits for a much better life

Get along with yourself first

If you’re wondering how to get more self-confident, you have to make sure to get along with yourself first. Be your own best friend and keep your self-esteem high. Only then will come other people who think well of you.

You don’t have to pay attention to your mistakes because, usually, other people won’t notice them until you point them out yourself.

In order to maintain your self-esteem, you should focus on your strengths so that others will notice them more. You shouldn’t go too far and only praise yourself; you are a human, just like everyone else.

If you notice thoughts that diminish you, imagine what you would say to your good friend in this situation. You probably wouldn’t be as hard on your friend as you are on yourself.

Get into character

Settle into the role. It’s called faking it till you make it. Your body language immediately indicates whether you are full of confidence or not at all.

Before you’re going to be around new people, take a deep breath behind the door and convince yourself that you are already confident and ready to face everything.

This will not only change your thinking but also make your body language more confident. And you’re also leaving a very confident first impression on others.

Keep your head up, sit with your back straight, bring your shoulders back, and look people in the eye while talking to them.

Pay attention to your clothing

This may sound strange, but if you pay more attention to how you dress, it can make you more confident. This does not mean that you should wear a party dress every day, but you should always prefer clothes that make you feel comfortable and make you look good.

Dress accordingly. If you want to be successful in business, dress accordingly. If your style is pleasantly bohemian, wear these clothes. Wear clothes that make you feel like yourself—clothes that boost your self-confidence. 

When you dress according to your desired self-image, you’re creating a good mood. You are happier and more positive. You are happier and more positive, and this will also be reflected in your expressions. People around you will notice that you are content and balanced.

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Pay attention to how you speak

Pay attention to how you speak. The next time you hear someone giving a good speech, notice how they speak. A good speaker speaks confidently, calmly, and evenly. Instead of saying “um” or “uh” during pauses, use these pauses to give others time to think about your previous thoughts.

Be convincing, but not aggressive, and you will feel your confidence rise. If you want to be taken seriously, avoid higher tones, giggles, and quiet chatter in your speech. People take you more seriously when they see you as a leader.

If you want to be heard, pay attention to the use of words. By presenting your great ideas or values convincingly, you may be surprised at the reactions you get. For example, instead of saying, “I don’t want to bother you, but…,” say, “I’m sorry, do you have a few minutes to discuss a topic?” 

Never start with “I just…” to get attention, because the word “just” automatically reduces the meaning of what is being said. It’s also wise not to end your ideas with the question “Is it OK?” Instead of that, say: “Let me know your thoughts or if you have any questions.” 

Similarly, replace the phrase “Is it understandable?” with “I’d love to hear what you think of it.” You never need to downplay your idea by saying, “This idea may seem silly.” 

How to get more self-confident? Be positive

Be positive! Positivity attracts everything positive. So, be happy, don’t whine, and have this “I can do  anything” mindset. Smile and laugh a lot—this is how you attract positive people with whom it’s good to communicate. 

One exercise you can do to be more positive is to write down 5–10 things you are grateful for every day. It helps change your mindset and makes you happier. 

It can be difficult for arrogant and selfish people to get along with others. It may seem that many people want to be friends with arrogant people, but, in fact, there are many people who don’t tolerate such arrogance. As a result, people with unpleasant attitudes may end up completely alone. 

Try to say to yourself: “I won’t give up until I succeed.” Always try to see the glass as half full. A positive attitude toward life is the foundation of confidence. 

If you’re not really happy and don’t feel like smiling, pretend to be! Eventually, everything comes down to your thoughts, and soon you’ll start believing your own words and actions. 

RELATED: 50 self-love questions to ask yourself right now

Take action

There are many other aspects to understanding how to get more self-confident. One of the ways to boost your self-confidence is to take action. Practice this every day. For example, the next time you are at an event, force yourself to go to a stranger and talk to them. Or participate in a training/event you wouldn’t normally attend.

Stay up to date with daily activities and new events, so you can find new topics to talk about with your friends. Be open and active, and don’t be afraid to express your opinion. Always show that you’re interested in the people you are with.

Remember that not taking action creates fear and doubt, but taking action creates confidence and courage. If you don’t know how to get started, you can start by writing down your strengths and weaknesses.

While most people say you should work on your weaknesses, I suggest you try to focus on your strengths. Investing your energy in what is positive about you will help increase your confidence.

By changing your thoughts, you change yourself, and so do the results. To get started, find 1-2 new habits you want to adopt. Tell yourself to stick to these habits. For example, do it for one week. If you feel that these 1-2 habits already feel natural, adopt another two habits. Here’s a great post about how to break bad habits.

If you do something you don’t really enjoy, you’ll at least know what you don’t like. If you make a mistake, you will at least know what’s not working. Taking action often tells you what your next step should be. The sooner you do something to improve your situation, the sooner you will feel better about yourself.

Be grateful

Be consciously grateful. Write down five things you are grateful for each day. In addition to these things, note why these things happened or how you helped to attract these positive things into your life.

It helps to bring focus and attention to positivity, the things that are valuable in your life. This, in turn, increases your positive self-esteem and makes you realize that you, too, are valuable.

Smile with gratitude. A smile is quite a small thing, but it can give a lot of confidence. If you smile with gratitude, you can’t be insecure. Think of something you are truly grateful for, and then try to think badly of yourself. You can’t. Your brain just doesn’t work that way.

Also, celebrate small wins. Very few of us become successful or rich overnight. Most of the time, we have to move toward big goals slowly and with small steps. You have a definite goal in front of you, but before you reach your destination, there will be many smaller wins along the way. Celebrate these wins.

RELATED: Here’s an A to Z gratitude list to give you some inspiration

Be prepared

Always be prepared. Remember that preparing beforehand will help you achieve better results. The more prepared you are, the better you will be able to cope with the surprises that life offers.

Before you go to meet new people or have a job interview, imagine how you want to feel after that. Try to think that you are already confident. And remember that it doesn’t come all at once, it takes time, but the important thing is that you’re taking a small step every time.

Try new things

Trying new things is sometimes very scary, but when you step out of your comfort zone and try something completely new, it gives your confidence a boost. It can be something very simple, such as going to the cinema alone or hiking alone.

Agree to do things that make your life even more exciting and spontaneous. It’s a bulletproof way to build your self-confidence and make you more courageous.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

From a distance, it might seem that a confident person can do everything alone, but this is not true. Knowing your limits and having the courage to ask for help are clear indications that you are able to evolve and aren’t afraid to get lost.

Although it seems that a confident person has to make all decisions on their own, this is not always the case. On the contrary, asking other people to help you shows that you care about their opinion.

Learn to accept compliments and make them

You will probably feel uncomfortable and awkward, but always say “thank you” or “it’s nice of you” after the compliment. Repeat this until you feel good enough. Over time, you will start to believe the good things people say about you.

Also, compliment others. A good word to a friend or acquaintance will please them, but also you. In addition, it shows that you are confident enough to praise others. Those who criticize others are usually very insecure themselves. Say out loud if you like someone’s dress, shoes, hairstyle, personal traits – whatever.

Stop criticizing yourself

If you’re still wondering how to boost your self-confidence, I’m going to tell you something you already know. Stop criticizing yourself. Unfortunately, people do the exact opposite.

If you feel that your inner critic wants to come out, ask yourself if you would say these things to a good friend. Probably not. Next time, think about it before you start talking badly about yourself.

Face your negative self-criticism. The first step, of course, is to realize that you often criticize yourself unnecessarily and destructively. In order to fix something, you need to know what is broken. And how broken it is.

Try to rephrase your thoughts. Write down a maximum of five self-critical points that you admit about yourself. Write an alternative interpretation behind each self-critical statement to help you see it in a more positive way.

For example, the statement “I can never make the right decision on how to go about my working life”, could be reworded to look something like this:

“I can make a decision that seems like a good decision at the moment. This is definitely better than not making a decision. I agree that I can’t accurately predict the future, so an intensive search for the “best” decision is pointless.

Happiness is about making a choice and making peace with your choice. If the choice did not turn out to be the right one, in the long run, I can always make a reconsideration.”

RELATED: Read about what other toxic habits you might have (you can always quit them!)

Stop comparing yourself to others

Since confidence comes from within, it’s not a good idea to constantly compare yourself to others. Learn to come to terms with your mistakes and think more about what you are proud of. Appreciate your good qualities. If you’re jealous of something someone else has/is doing, compliment them instead.

Learn to accept yourself and people in a way that you don’t compare anything. It’s a pointless confidence killer, and there’s nothing you can do about it. All people are unique. Better focus on your own positive aspects.

Problems often arise when we begin to compare ourselves with others. If you want to do some comparing, compare yourself to your past self.

If it seems that someone is doing something better than you, or if you get a negative answer when applying for a job, for example, you will start to think about how this selected candidate is better than you.

Confidence starts when you know who you are, when you dare to be yourself, and when you do things differently. You have to be aware of your true strengths and dare to admit that it is perfectly normal to have a handful of weaknesses. We are all great at something! You just have to find that something!

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Remember that you deserve everything

If you didn’t get a promotion at work, write down, point by point, what makes you a valuable employee. When it comes to love, you can make a list of characteristics that make you a good companion, and so on. 

Write down two or more paragraphs about why you matter and why other people should value you. Do it every day, every week, or whenever you feel like it.

Find your sources of strength and use them. Your sources of strength can be positive friends who help boost your mood; listening to good music; working out; walking in nature; etc. Create opportunities for activities that you enjoy. This way, you’re giving yourself the message that you care about your happiness and well-being.

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Assess your surroundings

Find inspiring and supportive people. Other people can help you think about what other options are available. They can broaden your mind and help you think outside the box.

In order to pay attention to these things, it’s sometimes necessary to communicate with people outside your circle. For example, join a club, attend lectures, or go to places you wouldn’t otherwise go to. This is one way to find inspiring people.

I recommend finding a coach because a coach is a person who looks at your current situation. The coach helps you formulate your goal, which you actually want to achieve, and formulate smaller goals along the way.

Find like-minded people. One of the best ways to gain and maintain confidence is to spend time with people who are very confident. According to research, you are a mixture of the five people you spend the most time with.

Choose your friends carefully. Evaluate the environment you’re living in and the people that are around you every day. Especially if you feel that you aren’t good/strong enough or that something has failed.

Communicate with people who support you and with people who want you to do well. The people who aren’t with you to bring you down, but who are with you to fill you with faith and positivity.

How to boost your self-confidence? Keep learning

Learn, practice, and become better at what you do. Start with something small. For example, if you want to get better at writing, write more. Read books on how to express your thoughts more fluently.

Unlock your potential by raising awareness, learning, and participating in training. Be aware of the areas you need to evolve in and find a teacher who has already achieved what you want so that you can grow by learning from them. Never stop learning.

One of the things life teaches us is that we can never learn or evolve too much. Find more information about the topics that are important to you. The more you know, the more it will boost your self-confidence. Read to broaden your knowledge, listen to other people’s stories, but also leave room for your own thoughts and experiences.

Keep in mind that all people have blind spots that cause confusion and misconceptions. Learn to forgive others and yourself. Don’t believe everything you’re told.

You’re constantly surrounded by a lot of noise. It’s important to know what to believe about this noise and what not to believe. Learn to distinguish important information from irrelevant information.

Change your habits

The truth is that habits are difficult to change. Start with something small. For example, if you’re used to getting up at 11 o’clock, don’t rush to wake up at 5 or 6 just because others do.

Instead, make the alarm clock ring 15 minutes earlier. If you get used to it within a month and you like it, take a look at the next habit you’ve been wanting to change. The habit that you replace with a more suitable one will help you achieve your goals faster.

Work out more. Exercising is one of the easiest ways to build confidence. It will help you feel better physically, mentally, and emotionally. Start with a couple of times a week and you’ll notice a difference.

Understand your true values

One of the best ways to boost your self-confidence is to make sure your goals are in line with your values. Do you know what you value most in life? What values are most important to you?

When you write down your core values, you’ll become more confident. You don’t let other people’s opinions affect your feelings. Even if you feel unwell for a moment, stop this self-pity and move on. You know what is important to you, and what your goal is, and you are moving toward it.

Your vision mainly reflects what you’d like to achieve. However, your values determine what you want or do not want to do and how you would or would not behave to achieve it. Your path to a more confident life begins with thinking about your long-term vision and the values that are close to your heart.

Have you ever watched someone else and thought that you would never do that? In moments like these, your own beliefs come into play and should be followed. If you act according to your thoughts, you are the most confident person in the room. Let go of people, events, and situations that are incompatible with your nature.

RELATED: Here are 43 easy goals you can set for self-growth

Success causes success

There is no better tool for empowerment than success. In other words, you really have to do something and succeed at it. It doesn’t work if you choose tasks that are too simple to succeed (you’re avoiding failure).

How to find a balance? Experts say that the right task is the one where the probability of success is 70-80%. For a smaller one, the “elephant” may seem too big, and for a larger one, the effort isn’t enough to feel satisfied with success.

As strange as it may seem, watching other people take action helps to increase self-efficacy. Maybe it’s a good idea to look at how others do something before you start doing something new. It also gives you a more specific idea of how you’re going to do it yourself. Feeling successful is what builds confidence.

Stop procrastinating. Procrastination and delaying are bulletproof ways to destroy your confidence. If you have been working on a task for a long time, it will definitely not make you feel good. You may think you are a failure. Write down the things you should be working on, and start working on them slowly and crossing them off the list.

Set goals, visualize them

Set yourself goals. If you don’t set goals, you can end up wasting your energy on dozens of different things without getting anywhere. By setting goals for yourself, you can set a direction, make plans, and take action. Confident people don’t just watch the future unfold before them – they determine the course themselves.

Visualize success. Imagine what you want to see happen, how you will feel successful, and how everything will turn out great. This way, there is a much higher probability that everything will succeed in real life because you have already increased your confidence in this situation.

Here are 33 different goals you can set to improve your quality of life.

Confident thoughts help boost confidence. Write on a piece of paper the ones that are most important to you and repeat them regularly (“Go ahead, you can do it!”; “Stay confident!”; “I’ve done it before and I can do it again!”).

Change your perspective in a way that’s useful to you. If you know you can’t change your work or its content, you can change your perspective. For example: “I take this job as an opportunity to organize my life in such a way that I can pursue my hobbies with the income I earn from work.”

Easy Tips to Boost Your Self-Confidence

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Do you have any tips on how to boost your self-confidence? Tell me about your favorite ways to boost your self-confidence in the comments below. I would love to know.

2 thoughts on “23 Tips to Boost Your Self-Confidence (That Really Work)”

  1. So many great tips! My favourites are focusing on your successes and wearing clothes that make you feel great. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply

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