235 Funny Monday Quotes to Kickstart Your Week with a Smile

A List of 230 Funny Quotes for Monday Morning

Do you hate Mondays? Here’s a little tip: try reading funny Monday quotes when you’re heading to work, riding the elevator, or sitting at your desk.

Take a few minutes to read them, and you might actually feel awake and ready for the day!

You can print these quotes, write them down, or even put them as your phone or computer wallpaper. They’ll help you feel more motivated every Monday.

Think about this: what’s the worst thing someone could say? “Today is Monday.” It’s true, lots of people feel down on Mondays. But let me tell you something.

Think about the people who are still looking for jobs on Mondays, hoping for an interview. They would love to have a job that makes you grumble about getting up on Mondays. Feeling a little more thankful now?

Also, you can share these funny quotes about Monday with your friends who complain that the weekend went by too fast.

These funny quotes will give everyone a reason to smile on the first day of the week. So, without waiting any longer, let’s check out my favorite funny quotes about Mondays!

This post may contain affiliate links. That means that if you click on a link and purchase something I recommend, I will receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Funny Monday Coffee Quotes

1. “Coffee + Music = Lazy Monday.”
2. “I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.”―Lewis Black
3. “May your coffee be strong and your Mondays be short.”
4. “Monday mornings are the perfect time to rise, shine, and take a nap in the coffee mug.”
5. “Coffee makes Monday feel less like a Monday.”
6. “Coffee: Because adulting is hard, and Mondays are even harder.”
7. “Monday motivation: Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Repeat.”
8. “I’m not a morning person, but I’m definitely a coffee person. Monday, here I come!”
9. “I can’t function without my morning cup of coffee.”
10. “Life is too short for bad coffee, especially on Mondays.”
11. “There’s nothing like a hot cup of coffee in the morning, and Mondays are no exception.”
12. “Coffee: the most important survival tool for Mondays since forever.”
13. “Monday and coffee: a match made in heaven. Well, actually, it’s more like a match made out of desperation.”
14. “I love it when the coffee kicks in and I realize what an adorable bada** I’m going to be this week.”
15. “May your coffee kick in before reality does.”

“If Monday Was…” Quotes

1. “If Monday was a person, it would be that one friend who shows up uninvited and overstays their welcome.”
2. “If Monday was a food, it would be a plain rice cake – bland and uninspiring.”
3. “If Monday was a song, it would be ‘I Will Survive’ because we need all the motivation we can get.”
4. “If Monday was a movie, it would be a horror film titled ‘The Never-Ending Workweek.'”
5. “If Monday was a weather forecast, it would be a torrential downpour of responsibilities and deadlines.”
6. “If Monday was a pet, it would be a grumpy cat that constantly hisses at you.”
7. “If Monday was a social gathering, it would be a never-ending awkward family reunion.”
8. ““”If Mondays were animals, they’d definitely be mosquitoes.”
9. “If Monday was a vacation destination, it would be a deserted island with poor Wi-Fi and no coffee shops.”
10. “If Monday was a fashion trend, it would be wearing mismatched socks and forgetting to brush your hair.”
11. If Monday was a haircut, it would be a mullet.
12. If Monday were a person, it wouldn’t have friends.
13. If Monday was a shoe, they’d be Crocs.

Funny Monday Morning Quotes

1. “What do sharks do on Monday mornings? They get up and start biting. That’s me.”―Gemma Collins
2. “Monday mornings feel like someone threw a brick at your face and then asked you to be grateful for it.”
3. “Sunday morning coffee is about pleasure, but Monday morning coffee is about necessity.”
4. “If you lose an hour in the morning, you’ll spend the whole day looking for it.”
5. “It’s okay to say YOLO, watch a movie on Monday morning, and take a break from work.”
6. Good morning. Keep calm and act like it’s not Monday.”
7. “Good and bad times follow each other. Just like Monday morning comes after Sunday morning.”
8. “Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one if only the morning began after noon.”―Tony Smite
9. “I hate mornings, they start so early.”―Janet Evanovich
10. “Dear Monday morning, please show up fashionably late next week. Sincerely, yours tiredly.”
11. “Coffee is the magical potion that makes Monday mornings somewhat bearable.”
12. “Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.”―Ursula Le Guin
13. “Monday mornings are like a math problem. Add in the coffee, subtract the sleep, multiply the tasks, and divide the time. It’s a mess, but somehow we manage.”
14. “Coffee: because adulting is hard, and mornings are even harder.”
15. “I’m not saying I hate mornings, but if Monday had a face, I would punch it… after I’ve had my coffee, of course.”
16. “I actually have a love-hate relationship with Monday mornings. I love to hate them!”
17. “Monday is a fresh start. It’s like a mini New Year’s every single week. Except that we still haven’t achieved our resolutions from last week.”
18. “I love mornings… as long as they start after 10 a.m. on a Monday.”
19. “Monday mornings should be optional. Can we petition for that?”
20. “I need a Monday morning teleportation device to skip straight to Friday’s happy hour.”

You might also like: Best Quotes to Inspire You to Enjoy Your Own Company Every Day

21. “Coffee is my Monday morning spirit animal. It gives me the strength to pretend that I’m excited about the week ahead.”
22. “Hello Monday, I don’t hate you, I hate the long days you bring.”
23. “Dear Monday, I want to leave you, never to see you again.”
24. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”
25. “Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”―Rebecca Gober
26. “I don’t like Mondays, especially if they occur on Fridays.”―Jarod Kintz
27. “The only good Monday is a Monday in bed”―Lee Horton
28. “Tuesday is Monday’s ugly sister.”
29. “Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.”―Tom Wilson
30. “Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code.”―Dan Salomon
31. “Monday mornings are a cruel reminder that your alarm clock is the boss of you.”
32. “Why do we call it Monday and not lazy day?”
33. “Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”―Arthur Darvill
34. “I’m hiding from Monday. I know it’s close by.” This is one of the best funny Monday quotes, because who hasn’t tried to avoid Mondays? I know I have.
35. This is the Mondayest Monday that ever Mondayed.
36. The only good thing about a Monday is the sarcastic Facebook statuses of other Monday-haters. At least I’ve found my people.
37. I’m not sure if it’s the end of the world or just Monday.
38. “Monday mornings are nature’s way of reminding us that the weekend is over, and it’s time to pay our bills.”
39. “Monday mornings are like gym memberships. We start off with good intentions but end up quitting before 12 p.m.”
40. “On Monday mornings, I need a motivational quote on my coffee mug just to convince myself to drink it.”

Sarcastic Monday quotes

1. “Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear… Monday has been canceled. Go back to sleep.”
2. “Monday is one of my favorite days of the week. My 7th favorite.”
3. “Are you tired? Lazy? Yes, it must be Monday.”
4. “Monday is like a hangover. You feel it all the way through, but you still can’t do anything about it – except moan, of course.”
5. “Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
6. “Hello Monday, please walk away.”
7. “I love Mondays, Cyber Mondays.”
8. “Sugar is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
9. “Please don’t say tomorrow is Monday.”
10. “If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where to return Mondays!”―John Wagner
11. “No one hates Monday. I’m no one.”
12. “One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. The same as one Monday on Earth.”
13. “The worst part of my Mondays is hearing you complain about Mondays.”
14. “I live for Mondays… said no one with a functioning brain ever.”
15. “Dear Monday, please go step on a Lego.”
16. “Monday is a reminder that you can handle whatever life throws at you.”
17. “Mondays are the reason I drink… coffee. Lots and lots of coffee!”

18. “Mondays are nature’s way of reminding you that nothing good ever lasts.”
19. “If Monday had a face, I would punch it. But alas, it’s just a day, and violence is frowned upon.”
20. “Mondays are like black holes, sucking the joy and motivation out of everything.”
21. “Dear Monday, can you please just skip to Friday? Sincerely, everyone.”
22. “Monday, you’re like that annoying song that gets stuck in my head all day.”
23. “After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.”
24. “Today is Monday, and that reason’s enough for me to hate it.”
25. “It seems that we have all been robbed. Someone stole our weekend and replaced it with Monday.”
26. “Monday is the root of all evil.”
27. “Monday?! But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet…”
28. “Monday is canceled. Go back to sleep.”
29. “Mondays should be voluntary.”
30. “Don’t mess with anybody on a Monday. It’s a bad, bad day.”―Louise Fitzhugh
31. “If you can survive Mondays, you can thrive on the rest of the week.”
32. “Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.”―Steven Wright
33. “Monday is the day that even my coffee needs a motivational quote.”
34. Monday, I will slay thee with a mighty cup of coffee.
35. “Monday is the day when even coffee needs coffee.”

You might also like: Quotes to Help You Smile Through the Pain and Find Strength

Funny Monday Captions

1. “Monday: The struggle is real.”
2. “Coffee: My Monday survival kit.”
3. “Monday Blues: because every week deserves a villain.”
4. “Monday called. It wants me back in bed.”
5. “I’m not saying I hate Mondays, but they definitely rank right up there with mosquitoes.”
6. “It’s Monday? I woke up on the wrong side of the week.”
7. “I’m sorry, but my bed and Monday are having a committed relationship.”
8. “Roses are red, Mondays are blue, I’d rather be napping, how about you?”
9. “When Monday knocks, pretend you’re not home.”
10. “Dear Monday, can we reschedule for never?”
11. “Monday: The only day that starts with an M and ends with a headache.”
12. “Smile, it’s Monday. Just kidding, run for your life!”
13. “I don’t like Monday mornings or people who like Monday mornings. Or Mondays, or mornings… or people.” -Blogtrovert

14. “I haven’t been this tired since last Monday.”
15. “Monday, you can’t break me. I’m already in pieces from the weekend.”
16. “I heard about history repeating itself but this Monday thing has got to stop.”
17. “Trying to find motivation on a Monday is like searching for a unicorn riding a rainbow.”
18. “I don’t need an alarm clock on Monday; the sheer dread wakes me up.”
19. “Can we all just agree to blame Monday for everything?”
20. “If Mondays were shoes, they’d definitely be Crocs.”
21. “Monday: A day full of possibilities, but mostly just coffee.”
22. “If Monday had a personality, it would be that one relative you avoid at family gatherings.”
23. “Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
24. “May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.”
25. “Monday Blues? I thought you said ‘Monday Brews’. My mistake.”
26. “Monday, I think we should see other people. Preferably on the other side of the planet.”

Funny Monday Motivation

1. “Ah, you need a Monday-sized coffee mug to survive this day.”
2. “Can we start the weekend over again? I wasn’t ready for Monday.”
3. “Coffee and sarcasm: my two coping mechanisms for a Monday.”
4. “Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, It’s not me, It’s you.”
5. “Dear Monday, could you please get a makeover? You’re just not working for us.”
6. “Did you say Monday motivation? More like Monday’s ‘I’d rather be in bed’ action.”
7. “Does running away from Mondays count as cardio?”
8. “Every Monday, I feel like I’m having a recurring nightmare I can’t escape.”
9. “Hello, Monday. May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
10. “Hey Monday, I’m tougher.”
11. “Hey, there, Monday, please go on a vacation. I’m not ready for your shenanigans.”
12. “Hi Monday. Can you please skip to Friday? Thanks, your biggest fan.”
13. “Honestly, I don’t always hate Mondays, but when I do, it’s with a burning passion.”
14. “I am not emotionally prepared for Monday yet.”
15. “I believe in the power of positive thinking on Mondays…positive that I need another cup of coffee.”
16. “I do have a love-hate relationship with Mondays. Mostly hate, but there’s a hint of sweet love – After all, we’re inseparable.”
17. “I don’t let Monday dictate my mood— I show it who’s boss!”
18. “I feel every Monday is a déjà vu – they just keep happening repeatedly.”
19. “I really need another day between Sunday and Monday.”
20. “I swear Friday was five minutes ago. And now it’s Monday? Time is clearly into some kind of witchcraft.”

Funny Sayings About Monday

1. “Monday is the day when reality hits you like a ton of paperwork.”
2. “Monday is the scientific proof that coffee alone cannot solve all your problems.”
3. “Monday should be optional, just like putting pineapple on pizza.”
4. “Monday got me like CTRL + ALT + DELETE, end task.”
5. “Monday is the villain in the movie of our lives, constantly trying to ruin our happy ending.”
6. “Monday is the day when you check your calendar and wonder how it went from Friday to Monday so quickly.”
7. “Monday is like a math problem. You’re trying to find the value of ‘x,’ where ‘x’ is the number of cups of coffee required to function.”
8. “Monday: the day when even the calendar says, ‘Seriously? Again?'”
9. “Monday is the only day of the week that requires an entire pot of coffee just to be tolerable.”
10. “Monday is nature’s way of reminding you that you forgot to appreciate your weekend properly.”
11. “I want to be in a long-distance relationship with Mondays.”
12. “Hello Monday, please walk away.”
13. “Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”―George Leedy

You might also like: Motivational Quotes for Embracing and Understanding Yourself

14. “I haven’t had this bad of a Monday since last Monday.”
15. “Dear Mondays, I really think you should take a vacation. Trust me, no one will even miss you.”
16. “Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, blink, blink, blink, Monday.”
17. “Nothing screws up your Friday like realizing it’s only Monday.”
18. “There isn’t a Monday that would not cede its place to Tuesday.”―Anton Chekhov
19. “For some reason, I feel very tired tomorrow.”
20. “So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends – but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”―Julio Alexi Genao
21. “Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close to Monday?
22. “There’s no more difficult transition than from Sunday to Monday.”
23. “Monday isn’t that bad, to be honest, What makes it bad is living in it.”―Day
24. “Every lazy person in this world should have seven Mondays a week.”
25. “There are no miracles on Mondays.”―Amy Neftzger
26. “Life is like Friday on a soap opera. It gives you the illusion that everything is going to wrap up, and then the same old stuff starts up on Monday.”―Stephen King

Funny Monday Quotes for Work

1. “I’m not saying I hate Mondays, but they’re not my favorite… or even in my top 100.”
2. “You don’t work on Mondays unless you do.”
3. “There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.”
4. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?”―Edgar Bergen
5. “Monday: the only day you have to remind yourself that you’re a professional and not a sloth.”
6. “I love Mondays… said no one ever who has a job.”
7. “If Mondays were shoes, they’d be Crocs. Nobody really likes them, but sometimes you just have to wear them.”
8. “Coffee: because adulting at work on Mondays requires a constant flow of caffeine.”
9. “The only thing getting me through this Monday is the thought of Friday paycheck.”
10. “Mondays are like that one colleague who always shows up with a complicated problem right as you sit down at your desk.”
11. “When life gives you Mondays, dip them in coffee and move forward.”
12. “Monday is like that annoying co-worker who always steals your lunch from the office fridge.”
13. “Remember, the only thing standing between you and the weekend is Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and half of Friday.”
14. “The only exercise I’m good at doing on Mondays is running late.”
15. I always give 100% at work: 10% on Mondays, 20% on Tuesdays, 30% on Wednesdays… you get the idea.

My Favorite Funny Monday Quotes

1. “Monday: The day when reality hits you like a ton of bricks wrapped in a to-do list.”
2. “Monday is the perfect day for a new hairstyle. You can just blame it on a bad hair day and no one will question it.”
3. “On Mondays, I’m convinced that my alarm clock is conspiring against me to ruin my life.”
4. “Just reminding everyone that it’s Monday, just in case any of you were feeling overly optimistic.”
5. “Look on the bright side, at least Mondays only happen once a week.”
6. “Monday should come with a warning label: “Approach with caution.”
7. “Oh, I’m so sorry, but I can’t come to work today. I’m down with ‘Mondayitis’.”
8. “When life gives you Mondays, make sure they’re caffeinated.”
9. “I’m not saying I hate Mondays, but if Monday had a theme song, it would be the sound of nails on a chalkboard.”
10. “Monday is like a surprise math test. You know it’s coming, but you’re never really prepared for it.”
11. “Monday should be optional, like a browser update.”
12. “I tried to be a morning person once. It didn’t work.”
13. “Monday: The only day of the week when you can hear your own thoughts because everyone else is still asleep.”
14. “Coffee: Because adulting is hard and pretending to have your life together on a Monday is exhausting.”
15. “I don’t need a motivational quote on Mondays. I need a personal assistant and a chocolate fountain.”
16. “Monday is nature’s way of punishing you for having fun over the weekend.”
17. “‘It’s been a long week’ – Me, Monday at 12pm.”
18. “Monday is like a bad boyfriend. You keep breaking up with it in your head, but it keeps showing up uninvited.”
19. “I always see Mondays like those annoying pop-up ads that won’t go away.”
20. “Honestly, I don’t always love Mondays in any way, but when I do, it’s because they’re over.”

Random Funny Monday Humor

1. “I swear it was just Friday like 5 minutes ago.”
2. “If Monday were a book, it would be titled ‘101 Ways to Ruin Your Day Within the First Few Hours.'”
3. “If Monday were a fashion trend, it would be mismatched socks and a shirt inside-out.”
4. “Instead of going to work, I’m on my way to declare Monday as a national nap day. Who’s with me?”
5. “It seems we’ve all been robbed. Someone stole our weekend and replaced it with Monday.”
6. “Less Monday, more coffee!”
7. “May cause extreme irritability and an urgent need for caffeine.” – Monday Disclaimer
8. “Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
9. “Monday is always a test of my patience and life choices.”
10. “Monday is like the person who showed up to a party uninvited. You’ll allow it… but how rude!”
11. “Monday is the day when coffee becomes my life support system.”
12. “Monday is the day when reality hits you in the face like a wet fish.”
13. “Monday is the day when you have to put on your big girl pants and deal with it.”
14. “Monday is the villain in my life story. Can we rewrite it, please?”
15. “Monday should be optional. I vote for a three-day weekend.”

You might also like: Start Your Week Right with These Inspiring Monday Affirmations

16. “I wish we could forget about Monday, but that would mean one less day in our week.”
17. “Weeks starting on Monday end with Friday and include Saturday and Sunday. Endings are sometimes good!”
18. “Find a job you like and you will add five days to every week.”―H. Jackson Brown
19. “Monday, you may have a reputation for being tough, but I’m here to show you I’m badass.”
20. “Monday: the day when my coffee cup and I become one.”
21. “Monday: the perfect day to practice your ‘pretend to work’ skills.”
22. “Monday: when even my coffee needs a coffee to deal with me.”
23. “Monday? I don’t remember ordering a Monday with my morning coffee.”
24. “Mondays are like a never-ending bad movie sequel – you can’t wait for it to be over.”
25. “Mondays are like a wrong date you can’t escape, and no amount of small talk or awkward silence, or looking away will make it better.”

FAQ: Why Should I Read These Funny Monday Quotes?

Imagine Monday as the start of a big adventure each week. It can sometimes feel like a tough day, right? Well, these hilarious Monday quotes are like a dose of happiness medicine.

Boost Your Mood

Life can be pretty serious, but laughter makes it all better. These quotes are like little giggles that can lift your spirits on a Monday morning. They remind you that it’s okay to have a good laugh, even on the busiest day.

Relatable Moments

Ever spilled your coffee or struggled to find your keys on a Monday? These quotes often talk about those funny, everyday situations we all go through.

It’s like saying, “Hey, I’ve been there too!” It makes you feel like you’re not alone in the Monday madness.

Spread Positivity

Laughter is catchy, just like a happy tune. When you read these funny Monday quotes and share a chuckle, you’re spreading positivity to others around you.

You might even make someone’s Monday a bit brighter by sharing a funny quote with them.

Lighten the Load

Monday can sometimes feel heavy with all the things we need to do. These hilarious quotes about Monday are like little balloons that make your day feel lighter.

They remind you that it’s okay to take a moment to smile and not take everything too seriously.

These Are My Favorite Funny Monday Quotes

How do you usually start your Mondays? What’s your most useful tip for surviving Mondays? Let me know in the comments below!