Funny Monday Quotes to Start Your Week on a Positive Note

Last Updated on January 21, 2023

Here’s a list of 100 funny quotes for Monday morning

Are you against Mondays? Here’s my tip for you: try reading funny Monday quotes every Monday on your way to work, in the elevator, or after you get to your desk. Spend a few minutes on Mondays reading these and you’ll actually be awake and ready for the day.

Besides, you can print them, write them down, or add them as wallpapers to your screen to find motivation every Monday.

What’s the scariest thing someone can say to someone? “Today is Monday.”

According to research, Monday blues is a real thing, but let me tell you something. Think about the people who are unemployed on Mondays, waiting to be called for an interview, and will do anything for a job where you find it difficult to wake up on Mondays. Aren’t you feeling grateful now?

Besides, you can send these funny Monday morning quotes to your friends who complain about how the weekend goes by so quickly. These Monday quotes are sure to give everyone a reason to be happy about the first day of the week.

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Now it’s time to show you some funny quotes about Monday

1. “What do sharks do on Monday mornings? They get up and start biting. That’s me.”―Gemma Collins

2. “Every morning you have two choices: go to sleep with your dreams or wake up and chase them.”

3. “If you miss Mondays, you are missing 1/7 of your life.”

4. “I want to be in a long-distance relationship with Mondays.”

5. “Hello Monday, please walk away.”

6. “Coffee + Music = Lazy Monday.”

7. “Are you tired? Lazy? Yes, it must be Monday.”

8. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?”―Edgar Bergen

9. “Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.―Mokokoma Mokhonoana

10. “52 Mondays out of 365 days a year are 52 opportunities for new beginnings”.

11. “Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”―George Leedy

12. “Mondays are the start of the work week, which offers new beginnings 52 times a year!”―David Dweck

13. “Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one.”―Brad Paisley

14. “I haven’t had this bad of a Monday since last Monday.”

15. “Monday is one of my favorite days of the week. My 7th favorite.”

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16. “Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear… Monday has been canceled. Go back to sleep.”

17. “A bad day doesn’t mean a bad week or a bad month or a bad year.”―Anuj Jasani

18. “Dear Mondays, I really think you should take a vacation. Trust me, no one will even miss you.”

19. “I wish we could forget about Monday, but that would mean one less day in our week.”

20. “If you love what you do, it doesn’t matter whether it’s Monday or Saturday.”

21. “Every day is Monday….till Friday.”―Viktor VolksPrater

22. “Even the best weeks start with Monday.”―Nice Peter

23. “Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, blink, blink, blink, Monday.” This is one of my favorite funny quotes about Monday because it’s so true. Time flies so fast!

24. “Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.”―Ursula Le Guin

25. “Hello Monday, let’s do it.”

26. “After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.”

27. “Today is Monday, and that reason’s enough for me to hate it.”

28. “It seems that we have all been robbed. Someone stole our weekend and replaced it with Monday.”

29. “Don’t let the Monday morning quarterbacks stop you from being bold. You’ve got to set a high bar.”―Antonio Villaraigosa

30. “The best weeks start on Monday.”―Nice Peter

a quote saying "after monday and tuesday, even the calendar says wtf"

31. “Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry, and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”―Garry Moll

32. “Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it yet?”―L.M. Montgomery

33. “I don’t like Mondays, especially if they occur on Fridays.”―Jarod Kintz

34. “The only good Monday is a Monday in bed”―Lee Horton

35. “Tuesday is Monday’s ugly sister.”

36. “When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”―Ella Woodward

37. “Hello Monday, I don’t hate you, I hate the long days you bring.”

38. “Dear Monday, I want to leave you, never to see you again.”

39. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”

40. “Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”―Rebecca Gober

41. “Happy Monday. Wait, better yet, happy only four days until Friday.”

42. “Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.”―Tom Wilson

43. “Monday is just a reminder that the weekend has passed and there are only a few more days before another weekend gets here.”

44. “Wow, Monday!” said no one ever.

45. “Monday, what brings you back? I asked you to leave on Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday can stay because it’s close to Friday, Saturday, and even Sunday.”

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46. “Hello Monday! Please be kind to me.”

47. “Why do we call it Monday and not lazy day?”

48. “Someday is not a day of the week.”―Denise Brennan-Nelson

49. “Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”―Arthur Darvill

50. “Every Monday you wake up is a day to make a change.”―Irvine Welsh

51. “Monday is canceled. Go back to sleep.”

52. “I hate mornings, they start so early.”―Janet Evanovich

53. “Don’t mess with anybody on a Monday. It’s a bad, bad day.”―Louise Fitzhugh

54. “If you can survive Mondays, you can thrive on the rest of the week.”

55. “I’m hiding from Monday. I know it’s close by.” This is one of the best funny Monday quotes, because who hasn’t tried to avoid Mondays? I know I have.

56. “Today is a new day. Even if you were wrong yesterday, you can get it right today.”―Dwight Howard

57. “Monday – the moment when Sunday stops feeling like the weekend and Monday anxiety begins.”

58. “You don’t work on Mondays unless you do.”

59. “Monday?! But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet…”

60. “Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.”―Steven Wright

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61. “There’s no more difficult transition than from Sunday to Monday.”

62. “Monday is like a hangover. You feel it all the way through, but you still can’t do anything about it – except moan, of course.”

63. “Don’t let one day of the week affect your happiness so much.”―Andrea L’Artiste

64. “Monday isn’t that bad, to be honest, What makes it bad is living in it.”―Day

65. “New Monday, new weeks, new goals.”

66. “Every lazy person in this world should have seven Mondays a week.”

67. “There are no miracles on Mondays.”―Amy Neftzger

68. “If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where to return Mondays!”―John Wagner

69. “Weeks starting on Monday end with Friday and include Saturday and Sunday. Endings are sometimes good!”

70. “Nothing screws up your Friday like realizing it’s only Monday.”

71. “May your coffee be strong and your Mondays be short.”

72. “There isn’t a Monday that would not cede its place to Tuesday.”―Anton Chekhov

73. “No one hates Monday. I’m no one.”

74. “For some reason, I feel very tired tomorrow.”

75. “Find a job you like and you will add five days to every week.”―H. Jackson Brown

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76. “Life is like Friday on a soap opera. It gives you the illusion that everything is going to wrap up, and then the same old stuff starts up on Monday.”―Stephen King

77. “Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”

78. “Monday is the day that opens up the week for many opportunities.”―R.K. Narayan

79. “Each new day has a different shape to it. You just roll with it.”―Ben Zobrist

80. “There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.”

81. “I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.”―Lewis Black

82. “Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code.”―Dan Salomon

83. “The elevator to success is broken. You have to take the stairs… one step at a time. ―Joe Girard

84. “Mondays should be voluntary.”

85. “Believe on Monday the way you believe on Sunday.”―Rita Schiano

86. “Your goal in life should be to make Monday the best day of the week.”―Trevor Cars

87. “So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends – but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”―Julio Alexi Genao

88. “Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close to Monday?

89. “Good and bad times follow each other. Just like Monday morning comes after Sunday morning.”

90. “Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one if only the morning began after noon.”―Tony Smite

91. “Sugar is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”

92. “The only limits you have are the limits you believe in.”

93. “Hello Monday, please walk away.”

94. “I love Mondays, Cyber Mondays.”

95. “If you lose an hour in the morning, you’ll spend the whole day looking for it.”

96. “It’s okay to say YOLO, watch a movie on Monday morning, and take a break from work.”

97. Good morning. Keep calm and act like it’s not Monday.”

98. “Please don’t say tomorrow is Monday.”

99. “There must be seven nights between Sunday and Monday morning.”

100. “It’s time to reframe your thinking. Monday mornings don’t have to be horrible moments in your life anymore.”

a quote saying "mondays should be voluntary"

These were my favorite funny Monday quotes

How do you usually start your Mondays? What’s your most useful tip for surviving Mondays? Let me know in the comments below!

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