Funny Monday Quotes to Start Your Week on a Positive Note

Here’s a list of 220 funny quotes for Monday morning

Are you against Mondays? Here’s my tip for you: try reading funny Monday quotes every Monday on your way to work, in the elevator, or after you get to your desk. Spend a few minutes on Mondays reading these and you’ll actually be awake and ready for the day.

Besides, you can print them, write them down, or add them as wallpapers to your screen to find motivation every Monday.

What’s the scariest thing someone can say to someone? “Today is Monday.”

According to research, Monday blues is a real thing, but let me tell you something. Think about the people who are unemployed on Mondays, waiting to be called for an interview, and will do anything for a job where you find it difficult to wake up on Mondays. Aren’t you feeling grateful now?

Besides, you can send these funny Monday morning quotes to your friends who complain about how the weekend goes by so quickly. These funny sayings about Monday are sure to give everyone a reason to be happy about the first day of the week.

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Now it’s time to show you some funny quotes about Monday

Funny Monday coffee quotes

1. “Coffee + Music = Lazy Monday.”
2. “I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.”―Lewis Black
3. “May your coffee be strong and your Mondays be short.”
4. “Monday mornings are the perfect time to rise, shine, and take a nap in the coffee mug.”
5. “I like my Mondays like I like my coffee—strong enough to kick me into gear!”
6. “Coffee: Because adulting is hard, and Mondays are even harder.”
7. “Monday motivation: Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Repeat.”
8. “I’m not a morning person, but I’m definitely a coffee person. Monday, here I come!”
9. “Dear Monday, I think you need a cup of coffee, because nobody likes you when you’re sleepy.”
10. “Life is too short for bad coffee, especially on Mondays.”
11. “Monday is the perfect day for a cup of coffee because it’s a ‘mocha’ opportunity to start the week right.”
12. “Coffee: the most important survival tool for Mondays since forever.”
13. “Monday and coffee: a match made in heaven. Well, actually, it’s more like a match made out of desperation.”

“If Monday was…” quotes

14. “If Monday was a person, it would be that one friend who shows up uninvited and overstays their welcome.”
15. “If Monday was a food, it would be a plain rice cake – bland and uninspiring.”
16. “If Monday was a song, it would be ‘I Will Survive’ because we need all the motivation we can get.”
17. “If Monday was a movie, it would be a horror film titled ‘The Never-Ending Workweek.'”
18. “If Monday was a weather forecast, it would be a torrential downpour of responsibilities and deadlines.”
19. “If Monday was a color, it would be a murky shade of gray, draining the vibrancy out of the weekend.”
20. “If Monday was a superhero, it would be Procrastination Man, using his powers to delay productivity.”
21. “If Monday was a sound, it would be the never-ending alarm clock that refuses to let you sleep in.”
22. “If Monday was a vacation destination, it would be a deserted island with poor Wi-Fi and no coffee shops.”
23. “If Monday was a fashion trend, it would be wearing mismatched socks and forgetting to brush your hair.”

Funny Monday morning quotes

24. “What do sharks do on Monday mornings? They get up and start biting. That’s me.”―Gemma Collins
25. “Every morning you have two choices: go to sleep with your dreams or wake up and chase them.”
26. “Don’t let the Monday morning quarterbacks stop you from being bold. You’ve got to set a high bar.”―Antonio Villaraigosa
27. “If you lose an hour in the morning, you’ll spend the whole day looking for it.”
28. “It’s okay to say YOLO, watch a movie on Monday morning, and take a break from work.”
29. Good morning. Keep calm and act like it’s not Monday.”
30. “Good and bad times follow each other. Just like Monday morning comes after Sunday morning.”
31. “Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one if only the morning began after noon.”―Tony Smite
32. “I hate mornings, they start so early.”―Janet Evanovich
33. “There must be seven nights between Sunday and Monday morning.”
34. “It’s time to reframe your thinking. Monday mornings don’t have to be horrible moments in your life anymore.”
35. “Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.”―Ursula Le Guin
36. “Monday mornings are like a math problem. Add in the coffee, subtract the sleep, multiply the tasks, and divide the time. It’s a mess, but somehow we manage.”
37. “Coffee: because adulting is hard, and mornings are even harder.”
38. “I’m not saying I hate mornings, but if Monday had a face, I would punch it… after I’ve had my coffee, of course.”
39. “Monday mornings: proof that the snooze button is the most used and cherished button on the planet.”
40. “Monday is a fresh start. It’s like a mini New Year’s every single week. Except that we still haven’t achieved our resolutions from last week.”
41. “I love mornings… as long as they start after 10 a.m. on a Monday.”
42. “Monday mornings should be optional. Can we petition for that?”
43. “Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Monday.”
44. “Coffee is my Monday morning spirit animal. It gives me the strength to pretend that I’m excited about the week ahead.”
45. “Hello Monday, I don’t hate you, I hate the long days you bring.”
46. “Dear Monday, I want to leave you, never to see you again.”
47. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”
48. “Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”―Rebecca Gober
49. “I don’t like Mondays, especially if they occur on Fridays.”―Jarod Kintz
50. “The only good Monday is a Monday in bed”―Lee Horton
51. “Tuesday is Monday’s ugly sister.”
52. “Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.”―Tom Wilson
53. “Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code.”―Dan Salomon
54. “Hello Monday! Please be kind to me.”
55. “Why do we call it Monday and not lazy day?”
56. “Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”―Arthur Darvill
57. “I’m hiding from Monday. I know it’s close by.” This is one of the best funny Monday quotes, because who hasn’t tried to avoid Mondays? I know I have.

Sarcastic Monday quotes

58. “Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear… Monday has been canceled. Go back to sleep.”
59. “Monday is one of my favorite days of the week. My 7th favorite.”
60. “Are you tired? Lazy? Yes, it must be Monday.”
61. “Monday is like a hangover. You feel it all the way through, but you still can’t do anything about it – except moan, of course.”
62. “Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
63. “Hello Monday, please walk away.”
64. “I love Mondays, Cyber Mondays.”
65. “Sugar is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
66. “Please don’t say tomorrow is Monday.”
67. “If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where to return Mondays!”―John Wagner
68. “No one hates Monday. I’m no one.”
69. “Oh, look, it’s Monday again. I can’t wait to experience the sheer joy and excitement it brings.”
70. “Monday, the day when I can fully appreciate all the poor life choices I made over the weekend.”
71. “I live for Mondays… said no one with a functioning brain ever.”
72. “Monday: the day when reality slaps you in the face after a weekend of blissful ignorance.”
73. “I love how Mondays magically turn coffee into sarcasm.”
74. “Mondays are nature’s way of reminding you that nothing good ever lasts.”
75. “If Monday had a face, I would punch it. But alas, it’s just a day, and violence is frowned upon.”
76. “Mondays are like black holes, sucking the joy and motivation out of everything.”
77. “Dear Monday, can you please just skip to Friday? Sincerely, everyone.”
78. “Monday: the day when the weekend seems like a distant memory and the next one feels light-years away.”
79. “After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.”
80. “Today is Monday, and that reason’s enough for me to hate it.”
81. “It seems that we have all been robbed. Someone stole our weekend and replaced it with Monday.”
82. “Monday – the moment when Sunday stops feeling like the weekend and Monday anxiety begins.”
83. “Monday?! But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet…”
84. “Monday is canceled. Go back to sleep.”
85. “Mondays should be voluntary.”
86. “Don’t mess with anybody on a Monday. It’s a bad, bad day.”―Louise Fitzhugh
87. “If you can survive Mondays, you can thrive on the rest of the week.”
88. “Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.”―Steven Wright

Inspirational Monday quotes

89. “New Monday, new weeks, new goals.”
90. “Monday is the day that opens up the week for many opportunities.”―R.K. Narayan
91. “Each new day has a different shape to it. You just roll with it.”―Ben Zobrist
92. “Believe on Monday the way you believe on Sunday.”―Rita Schiano
93. “Your goal in life should be to make Monday the best day of the week.”―Trevor Cars
94. “The only limits you have are the limits you believe in.”
95. “The secret to a successful Monday is to remember that your attitude determines your outcome. Stay positive, work hard, and make it a great start to the week.”
96. “Mondays are a fresh start, a chance to set the tone for the rest of the week. Embrace the new beginning and let your actions inspire others.”
97. “Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Seize this Monday and make it amazing. Success starts with taking the first step.”
98. “Rise up, shine bright, and make this Monday count. You have the power to create a week full of possibilities and achievements.”
99. “Mondays are a reminder that you have another week of opportunities ahead. Set your goals, focus on them, and let nothing hold you back.”
100. “Each Monday offers a chance for growth, improvement, and progress. Embrace the challenges, learn from them, and become a better version of yourself.”
101. “Your journey towards success begins every Monday. Stay determined, stay focused, and keep pushing forward.”
102. “Mondays are the perfect time to set new goals and turn your dreams into reality. Believe in yourself and let your actions speak louder than your doubts.”
103. “Start this Monday with a grateful heart. Appreciate the opportunities, the people around you, and the chance to make a difference.”
104. “Mondays are the building blocks of your week. Lay a strong foundation, work hard, and watch your dreams take shape.”
105. “52 Mondays out of 365 days a year are 52 opportunities for new beginnings”.
106. “I wish we could forget about Monday, but that would mean one less day in our week.”
107. “Weeks starting on Monday end with Friday and include Saturday and Sunday. Endings are sometimes good!”
108. “The elevator to success is broken. You have to take the stairs… one step at a time. ―Joe Girard
109. “Don’t let one day of the week affect your happiness so much.”―Andrea L’Artiste
110. “Find a job you like and you will add five days to every week.”―H. Jackson Brown
111. “Monday is just a reminder that the weekend has passed and there are only a few more days before another weekend gets here.”
112. “Every Monday you wake up is a day to make a change.”―Irvine Welsh
113. “Today is a new day. Even if you were wrong yesterday, you can get it right today.”―Dwight Howard

Funny “Happy Monday” quotes

114. “If you love what you do, it doesn’t matter whether it’s Monday or Saturday.”
115. “Happy Monday! May your coffee be strong, and your patience be stronger.”
116. “Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.―Mokokoma Mokhonoana
117. “Happy Monday! May your to-do list be short, and your coffee cup be bottomless.”
118. “Hello Monday, let’s do it.”
119. “Happy Monday! May your boss be absent, your workload be light, and your internet connection be strong.”
120. “Even the best weeks start with Monday.”―Nice Peter
121. “Happy Monday! Remember, the best way to survive the workweek is by counting down the days until Friday.”
122. “A bad day doesn’t mean a bad week or a bad month or a bad year.”―Anuj Jasani
123. “Happy Monday! Let’s make a deal: if we survive today, we treat ourselves to an extra-large coffee tomorrow.”
124. “Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one.”―Brad Paisley
125. “Happy Monday! May your coworkers be pleasant, your deadlines be flexible, and your snacks be plentiful.”
126. “If you miss Mondays, you are missing 1/7 of your life.”
127. “Happy Monday! May your coffee be as strong as your will to avoid doing any actual work.”
128. “Someday is not a day of the week.”―Denise Brennan-Nelson
129. “Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it yet?”―L.M. Montgomery
130. “When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”―Ella Woodward
131. “Happy Monday. Wait, better yet, happy only four days until Friday.
132. “Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry, and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”―Garry Moll
133. “Wow, Monday!” said no one ever.
134. “Monday, what brings you back? I asked you to leave on Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday can stay because it’s close to Friday, Saturday, and even Sunday.”

Funny sayings about Monday

135. “Monday is the day when reality hits you like a ton of paperwork.”
136. “Monday is the scientific proof that coffee alone cannot solve all your problems.”
137. “Monday should be optional, just like putting pineapple on pizza.”
138. “Monday: the day when even my alarm clock gives me the side-eye.”
139. “Monday is the villain in the movie of our lives, constantly trying to ruin our happy ending.”
140. “Monday is the day when you check your calendar and wonder how it went from Friday to Monday so quickly.”
141. “Monday is like a math problem. You’re trying to find the value of ‘x,’ where ‘x’ is the number of cups of coffee required to function.”
142. “Monday: the day when even the calendar says, ‘Seriously? Again?'”
143. “Monday is the only day of the week that requires an entire pot of coffee just to be tolerable.”
144. “Monday is nature’s way of reminding you that you forgot to appreciate your weekend properly.”
145. “I want to be in a long-distance relationship with Mondays.”
146. “Hello Monday, please walk away.”
147. “Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”―George Leedy
148. “I haven’t had this bad of a Monday since last Monday.”
149. “Dear Mondays, I really think you should take a vacation. Trust me, no one will even miss you.”
150. “Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, blink, blink, blink, Monday.” This is one of my favorite funny quotes about Monday because it’s so true. Time flies so fast!
151. “Nothing screws up your Friday like realizing it’s only Monday.”
152. “There isn’t a Monday that would not cede its place to Tuesday.”―Anton Chekhov
153. “For some reason, I feel very tired tomorrow.”
154. “So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends – but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”―Julio Alexi Genao
155. “Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close to Monday?
156. “There’s no more difficult transition than from Sunday to Monday.”
157. “Monday isn’t that bad, to be honest, What makes it bad is living in it.”―Day
158. “Every lazy person in this world should have seven Mondays a week.”
159. “There are no miracles on Mondays.”―Amy Neftzger
160. “Life is like Friday on a soap opera. It gives you the illusion that everything is going to wrap up, and then the same old stuff starts up on Monday.”―Stephen King

Funny Monday quotes for work

161. “Mondays are the start of the work week, which offers new beginnings 52 times a year!”―David Dweck
162. “You don’t work on Mondays unless you do.”
163. “There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.”
164. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?”―Edgar Bergen
165. “Monday: the only day you have to remind yourself that you’re a professional and not a sloth.”
166. “I love Mondays… said no one ever who has a job.”
167. “If Mondays were shoes, they’d be Crocs. Nobody really likes them, but sometimes you just have to wear them.”
168. “Coffee: because adulting at work on Mondays requires a constant flow of caffeine.”
169. “The only thing getting me through this Monday is the thought of Friday paycheck.”
170. “Mondays are like that one colleague who always shows up with a complicated problem right as you sit down at your desk.”
171. “When life gives you Mondays, dip them in coffee and move forward.”
172. “The best part of Monday mornings is pretending that I’m a morning person… until I have my second cup of coffee.”
173. “Remember, the only thing standing between you and the weekend is Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and half of Friday.”
174. “Monday: the day where your to-do list is so long that you’re considering hiring a stunt double.”

Short funny Monday quotes

175. “Monday: The day when reality hits you like a ton of bricks wrapped in a to-do list.”
176. “Monday is the perfect day for a new hairstyle. You can just blame it on a bad hair day and no one will question it.”
177. “On Mondays, I’m convinced that my alarm clock is conspiring against me to ruin my life.”
178. “Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the motivation, divide the energy, and multiply the procrastination.”
179. “If Monday had a face, I’d definitely punch it. But then Tuesday would probably just laugh at me.”
180. “I don’t always dread Mondays, but when I do, it’s because I forgot to charge my positive attitude over the weekend.”
181. “Monday mornings: The only time when being a zombie would actually be an improvement.”
182. “Monday is a reminder that life is too short to spend the entire week wishing it was the weekend.”
183. “I’m not saying I hate Mondays, but if Monday had a theme song, it would be the sound of nails on a chalkboard.”
184. “Monday is like a surprise math test. You know it’s coming, but you’re never really prepared for it.”
185. “Monday should be optional, like a browser update.”
186. “I tried to be a morning person once. It didn’t work. Mondays had a good laugh.”
187. “Monday: The only day of the week when you can hear your own thoughts because everyone else is still asleep.”
188. “Coffee: Because adulting is hard and pretending to have your life together on a Monday is exhausting.”
189. “I don’t need a motivational quote on Mondays. I need a personal assistant and a chocolate fountain.”
190. “Monday is nature’s way of punishing you for having fun over the weekend.”
191. “Monday blues? Just add some music and pretend you’re in a movie montage, conquering the day.”
192. “Monday is like a bad boyfriend. You keep breaking up with it in your head, but it keeps showing up uninvited.”
193. “The only good thing about Monday is that it’s a great excuse to eat cake for breakfast. And lunch. And dinner.”
194. “Monday: The day when reality and my motivation are playing hide-and-seek, and reality always wins.”

Funny Monday captions

195. “Monday: The struggle is real.”
196. “Coffee: My Monday survival kit.”
197. “Monday blues, meet my funny bone.”
198. “Monday called. It wants me back in bed.”
199. “Not ready for this jelly… it’s Monday.”
200. “Warning: Monday has been found guilty of ruining weekends.”
201. “I’m sorry, but my bed and Monday are having a committed relationship.”
202. “Roses are red, Mondays are blue, I’d rather be napping, how about you?”
203. “When Monday knocks, pretend you’re not home.”
204. “Dear Monday, can we reschedule for never?”
205. “Monday: The only day that starts with an M and ends with a headache.”
206. “Smile, it’s Monday. Just kidding, run for your life!”
207. “Monday, you’re a cruel mistress. Please release me from your grip.”
208. “Don’t worry, Monday. I’m just here for the snacks and occasional productivity.”
209. “Monday, you can’t break me. I’m already in pieces from the weekend.”
210. “Monday mornings: The only time hitting the snooze button feels like a victory.”
211. “Trying to find motivation on a Monday is like searching for a unicorn riding a rainbow.”
212. “Monday, please stop being a cupcake. Nobody likes you.”
213. “Can we all just agree to blame Monday for everything?”
214. “If Mondays were shoes, they’d definitely be Crocs.”
215. “Monday: A day full of possibilities, but mostly just coffee.”
216. “Monday, you have one job: Make me appreciate Fridays more.”
217. “Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
218. “Hey Monday, can you kindly step aside while I grab another coffee?”
219. “The awkward moment when Monday arrives and you’re still emotionally attached to the weekend.”
220. “Monday, I think we should see other people. Preferably on the other side of the planet.”

These were my favorite funny Monday quotes

How do you usually start your Mondays? What’s your most useful tip for surviving Mondays? Let me know in the comments below!