185 Funny Self-Love Quotes to Make You Happier

Let’s Have a Look at Some Funny Quotes About Loving Yourself

In this blog post, you’ll find lots of funny self-love quotes for Instagram, Facebook, or just for reading.

Are you ready to add some laughter to your self-love journey? In this post, I’m excited to share with you some short, funny self-love quotes that will make you smile, for sure.

It’s important to remember to love and appreciate ourselves, flaws and all, as we navigate the ups and downs of life. What better way to do so than with a good laugh?

So, without further ado, let’s get started with some hilarious and inspirational quotes that will remind you to keep a sense of humor when it comes to self-love.

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Here’s My List of Funny Quotes About Self

1. “Some days I amaze myself. Other days, I look for my phone while I’m talking on it.”
2. “Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It’s sanity.” ― André Gide
3. “I do a thing called ‘what I want.’”
4. “I don’t need a knight in shining armor, I have my own shining armor.”
5. “Your speed doesn’t matter, forward is forward.”
6. “I’m too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener.”
7. “My mother always told me I wouldn’t amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, ‘Just wait.'” ― Judy Tenuta
8. “Let your light shine bright so the other weirdos can find you.”
9. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” ― Elbert Hubbard.
10. “Embrace the glorious mess that you are. Especially if that mess involves pizza crumbs.”
11. “I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need a snack and a nap.”
12. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” ― Lily Tomlin
13. “Instant gratification takes too long.” ― Carrie Fisher
14. “Don’t doubt yourself. That’s what haters are for.” ― Turcois Ominek
15. “If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.” ― Frank Zappa.

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16. “I’ve decided my year is going to be like a coconut oil hair mask. Weird, but surprisingly effective.”
17. “Throw me to the wolves, and I’ll come back leading the pack.”
18. “I respect myself, which means sometimes I need an extra hour of sleep on Mondays.”
19. “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” ― Jim Carrey
20. “Some days, self-care is doing nothing. Other days, it’s doing everything at the last minute.”
21. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
22. “I’m not indecisive… unless you want me to be.”
23. “I’m not procrastinating. I’m giving my ideas time to mature.”
24. “The best anti-aging remedy is to count your blessings, not your birthdays.” ― Abhishek Kumar
25. “I’m not single, I’m just in a relationship with myself.”
26. “If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.” ― Groucho Marx.
27. “Self-love is the answer to so many questions, but chocolate is a close second.”
28. “Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.” ― George Carlin
29. “Self-care tip: If you can’t eat it or play with it, then it’s not worth the stress.”
30. “I’m not crazy — I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 40 years.”

31. “Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”
32. “I’m my own cheerleader, and I do a mean high kick!”
33. “I’m not broke, I’m just pre-rich.”
34. “I’m not a psychopath, I’m a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research.”
35. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” ― Oscar Wilde
36. “Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.”
37. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
38. “My kind of workout: Jumping to conclusions and running out of patience.”
39. “I got it all together. But I forgot where I put it.”
40. “I don’t need a spotlight; my self-love shines bright enough to light up the whole room.”
41. “I’m a work in progress, but I love the progress I’m making.”
42. “I stopped waiting for the stars to align; I started dancing under them instead.”
43. “Reminder that Winnie the Pooh wore a crop top with no pants & ate his fave food & loved himself. So you can too.”
44. “I’m like a fine wine. I get better with age.”
45. “I’m not a people person, but I am a me person.”

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More Funny Quotes About Loving Yourself

1. “I love myself and I don’t need anyone else to do it for me.”
2. “I don’t wear opinions of others anymore. I learned to dress myself.” ― Nikki Rowe
3. “I’ve got a PhD in self-love and a master’s in being fabulous. Watch out world!”
4. “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” ― Mark Twain
5. “Being yourself is the prettiest thing a person can be. Except maybe a unicorn.”
6. “You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” ― Penny Reid
7. “Don’t forget to drink water and get some sun. You’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions.”
8. “Self-love is like a good cup of coffee; it takes time to brew, but it’s worth the wait.”
9. “The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.” ― Mark Twain
10. “I said ‘Somebody should do something about that.’ Then I realized I am somebody.” ― Lily Tomlin
11. “Personal growth sounds great until you realize it includes growing out of your favorite jeans.”
12. “I’m not a morning person. I’m a morning monster.”
13. “Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, “Oh crap, she’s up!””
14. “For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.” ― Lily Tomlin
15. “Self-love is the best love—unless we’re talking about pizza. Pizza is pretty great too.”

16. “I quit waiting for a breakthrough and decided to break through myself.”
17. “The moment you realize your self-worth, you’ll stop giving people discounts.” ― Karen Salmansohn
18. “Whenever I need expert advice, I have a chat with myself.”
19. “I’m not a control freak, I just know how things should be done – my way.”
20. “They say good things take time, so that’s why I’m always late.”
21. “Clap for yourself. Who else will?”
22. “If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.”
23. “Mirrors don’t talk, and luckily for us, they don’t laugh either.”
24. “In the grand adventure of life, there are chapters best enjoyed lying on the couch.”
25. “I don’t have an attitude problem; I just have a personality you can’t handle.”
26. “Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.”
27. “You can’t have a million-dollar dream with a minimum-wage worth ethic.” ― Zig Ziglar
28. “The nicest thing about the rain is that it always stops. Eventually.” ― A. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh).
29. “Self-love is the greatest gift you can give yourself, besides a lifetime supply of cheese.”
30. “I love myself so much, I put myself on my speed dial.”
31. “I’m not weird, I’m just limited edition.”

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32. “The lion doesn’t concern itself with the opinions of sheep.”
33. “When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.” ― Groucho Marx
34. “It’s hard to be a diamond in a rhinestone world.” ― Dolly Parton
35. “If I was any more fabulous, I’d be illegal.”
36. “I’m not a snack. I’m a whole picnic. With a side of extra sauce.”
37. “I’m not antisocial, I’m selectively social.”
38. “I’m not bossy, I’m the boss.”
39. “Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.” ― George Burns
40. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” ― Cathy Guisewite.
41. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” ― Joe Girard
42. “I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.”
43. “I didn’t forget where I came from; I just realized I couldn’t stay there.”
44. “Don’t be afraid of being different. Be afraid of being the same as everyone else.”
45. “I think every woman should have a blowtorch.” ― Julia Child
46. “You’re not going to tell me who I am. I’m going to tell you who I am.” ― Nicki Minaj

My Favorite Funny Quotes on Self-Love

1. “I’m not short, I’m just concentrated awesome.”
2. “Strong women don’t have attitudes; they have standards.”
3. “The only reason a woman should ever look down is to show off her eye-shadow.”
4. “Self-love is like a bath, you need it daily.”
5. “Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.”
6. “I got tired of waiting for opportunity, so I created a doorway.” ― Bernard Shaw
7. “Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.” ― Maxwell Maltz
8. “You are never too old to play. You are only too old for low-rise jeans.” ― Ellen DeGeneres
9. “When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.” ― Lily Tomlin
10. “I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.” ― Coco Chanel
11. “I’m the CEO of my own happiness, and business is booming!”
12. “Stretch marks: proof that my body can create its own abstract art. Picasso would be proud.”
13. “Life is short; smile while you still have teeth.”
14. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” ― W.C. Fields
15. “The face you have at age 25 is the face God gave you, but the face you have after 50 is the face you earned.” ― Tom Hanks

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16. “Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.” ― Robert Downey Jr.
17. “This is my cup of care. Oh, look, it’s empty.”
18. “People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever’s in the glass.”
19. “I’m a self-love magician. Watch me pull confidence and laughter out of thin air!”
20. “If it costs you your peace of mind, you’ve overpaid.” ― Rigel J Dawson.
21. “Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring. So I go back to being me.” ― Ain Eineziz
22. “I walk around like everything is fine. But deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.”
23. “You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.” ― Sophia Bush
24. “I don’t need a superhero. I am one.”
25. “Darling, I’m a nightmare dressed as a daydream. And I absolutely love it.”
26. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I appreciate myself for eating it.”
27. “I think everybody’s weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.” ― Johnny Depp
28. “Housework can’t kill you, but why take the chance?” ― Phyllis Diller
29. “I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.” ― George Carlin
30. “Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.” ― A.A. MILNE

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31. “I’m not a one in a million kind of person. I’m a once in a lifetime kind of phenomenon.”
32. “If ‘stress-baking’ is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.”
33. “Self-care is the greatest middle finger of all time.”
34. “I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
35. “I’m staying home today. I have mood poisoning.”
36. “Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.” ― Bill Murray
37. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” ― Lucille Ball
38. “Finding peace is like finding a lost sock. Just when you think it’s gone, it turns up… usually in the last place you look.”
39. “People say, ‘How you stay looking so young?’ I say, well, good lighting, good doctors, and good makeup.” ― Dolly Parton
40. “I don’t need Prince Charming to have my happily ever after. I’ll take self-love and a cheeseburger any day.”
41. “I’ve had great success being a total idiot.” ― Jerry Lewis
42. “I used to just crastinate, but I got so good, I went pro.”
43. “I’m not a damsel in distress, I’m the dragon.”
44. “Stop shrinking to fit places you’ve outgrown.”
45. “Current status: distancing myself from bullshit.”

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46. “I’m not a snack, I’m the whole meal.”
47. “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” ― RuPaul
48. “I think we should start calling our mistakes ‘growth spurts’ instead.” ― Cheryl Hale.
49. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
50. “I do not trust people who do not love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I love you.’ There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.” ― Maya Angelou
51. “You can’t make everyone happy. You aren’t tacos.”
52. “This looks like a ‘no, thanks’ to me.”
53. “Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, and never follow someone else’s path—unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost, and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that.” ― Ellen DeGeneres
54. “Why not go out on a limb? That’s where the fruit is.” ― Frank Scully
55. “I don’t chase after anyone. The only chase I do is after my own dreams and ice cream trucks.”
56. “If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.” ― Katharine Hepburn
57. “When they say, “it runs in the family,” respond with, “this is where it runs out.””
58. “Some call it arrogant; I call it self-assured. Tomato, to-mah-to.”
59. “If you think you’re too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” ― Dalai Lama
60. “Even I don’t wake up looking like Cindy Crawford.” ― Cindy Crawford

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61. “I don’t have low self-esteem. I have low esteem for everyone else.” ― Sarah Silverman
62. “I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong.”
63. “I don’t need your approval, darling. I have my own.”
64. “I don’t need a king to be a queen.”
65. “Today’s self-care strategy: Avoiding adulting at all costs.”
66. “If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.” ― Phyllis Diller
67. “Know your worth, and then make sure to add tax.”
68. “I am difficult because I am rare.”
69. “Yes, I am weird, weird is good. Normal is overrated.” ― Mad-D.
70. “It’s not your job to like me; it’s mine.” ― Byron Katie
71. “No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early.” ― Groucho Marx
72. “Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.” ― Blanche Devereaux
73. “Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it’s not like this compulsive need like my need to be praised.” ― Michael Scott
74. “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” ― Oscar Wilde
75. “If I had a dollar for every time I fell in love with myself, I’d be on Forbes.”
76. “I may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m someone’s tequila shot.”
77. “I’m not a morning person until I have coffee and then I’m not a morning person but at least I’m awake.”
78. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.” ― Zig Ziglar
79. “You are not a mess. You are a feeling person in a messy world.” ― Glennon Doyle
80. “I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment about self-worth?”

FAQ: What Is Self-Love?

Self-love has grown in popularity in recent years, and for good reason. To me, self-love means a genuine and deep appreciation for myself, including my strengths, weaknesses, quirks, and everything in between.

It’s about treating myself with the same kindness, compassion, and respect that I would show to a loved one. It’s admitting that I deserve love and care and making an effort to prioritize my own well-being.

Self-love can take many forms, whether it’s taking time for self-care activities that bring you joy, setting boundaries to protect your mental and emotional health, or simply giving yourself permission to rest and recharge when needed.

It’s about recognizing that you are human and that it’s okay to make mistakes or have bad days. Self-love can be a radical act of self-acceptance and self-empowerment in a world that often emphasizes external validation and perfectionism.

It isn’t always easy, and it’s a journey that requires patience and dedication, but it’s worth it.

When you deeply love and care for yourself, you can be more authentic in your relationships, confidently pursue your passions, and live a more fulfilling life.

Did You Find Any Funny Self-Love Quotes That You Like?

What are your favorite funny quotes about being yourself?